Nobody Needs to Know
by the machination
Summary: Vash's Girl and The Glass Slipper cowrite. [LSC] Cloud is tangling a web of deceit around his only brother, Sora. Leon is craving that someone who will fill the emptiness in his life. Sora has been caught, bound, and is trying to find an escape.
1. Down the Drain

**Disclaimer: **We do not own _Kingdom Hearts_, nor are we making any money off this fanfiction.

-o-o-

**Vash's Girl:** So… a new story. Whee. This is kind of twisted. It didn't start out that way. Kind of ended that way, though. Heh. But I didn't do it alone! I'm not that creative. Or evil. It was our combined minds that did it, blame them.

**The Glass Slipper:** Yeah, it really didn't start out that way. It was supposed to be an innocent, little LeonSora, with some innocent, under-aged sex. But someone misunderstood my intentions...And drew me into this tawdry affair. Which I love. All the sinister plotting was more fun than it should have been. Hopefully reading this is equally enjoyable.

-o-o-

**WARNING!!!: **This story contains something known as **INCEST**. If you don't know what incest means, you shouldn't be here right now. If you do know, and it squicks you, then you shouldn't be here, either. However, if you are okay with **HEAVY **incest, then continue onwards. But we will not be blamed for those with fragile minds. All ye who enter, abandon hope.

-o-o-

_**Nobody Needs to Know**_

**Chapter One**

Down the Drain

-o-o-

"God, it's cold…" Sora muttered, moving his thimble to the Pennsylvania Railroad. "I think I'd like to buy this."

"You buy everything," his brother scolded, pushing blonde spikes out of his eyes as he fished around for the card while Sora handed over the money for the bank.

"Heehee. Well, it's my strategy for winning," Sora giggled, accepting his card from Cloud and adding it to the growing pile. He owned nearly half of the property on the board now, and if Cloud didn't start catching up soon he was definitely going to lose. Even though the game could last for hours, it was still long and grueling in the process. That's what he loved about Monopoly. Whoever had created it was a genius, especially to play on rainy days like this one.

Cloud mumbled something incoherent, pulling his quilt further around his shoulders as his free hand flicked the dice onto the table. They landed with a clatter, revealing a six and a one, and he cursed when he moved his car, only to land on one of Sora's more expensive properties. "Damn it, Sora, can't you control yourself?"

"From what?" Slightly miffed now, the younger of the two held out his hand for the money. "You're just being a sore loser, Cloud."

"No, I'm just being cold…"

Sora gave a curt but playful smile as he accepted the fake paper currency, "Whatever, Cloud. You've got the warm blanket."

"Well, don't forget whose sweater you've got on. Not that you could. It's way too big for your tiny little shoulders."

"My shoulders are not tiny!" Sora exclaimed, looking down at the university crested hoodie he had grabbed from Cloud's closet. It really did look several sizes too large draped over his lithe frame. He had been rather surprised when he had put it on. It fit Cloud perfectly. Sora wasn't that small, was he?

Cloud gave his brother an evaluative stare that caught Sora somewhere between attempting to look larger, and trying to hug himself even tighter in the extra blue fabric to conserve heat.

"Yup, they're tiny," he decided with a laugh. "You really need to start working out."

"Shut up, Cloud! You're older than me, that's all."

"Hm, is that so? I think you're at the age where you're going to stay that size the rest of your life, Sora." But his smile was warm to take to the sting of his words, and it made Sora stop bristling immediately. He kind of slumped back down, hiding his hands in the sleeves of the large hoodie, raising them to his mouth so he could stare contemplatively down at the board.

"It's not gonna matter how hard you think because the dice are going to land differently…"

Sora shot him an impatient look, then narrowed his eyes back to where his piece was. He was on PA RR right now… just a few more spaces and he'd have that piece of property that no one owned yet… wait, no. Cloud had that, didn't he?

Frowning, Sora lowered his hands, eyeing Cloud warily. "Hey, do you have New York Avenue?"

Nodding, Cloud withdrew the card from his own small stack. "Yeah, it's right here?" Then a light came to his eyes, like he had discovered what Sora was asking for. Letting a smirk play along his lips, he held the card between two fingers and waved it around before Sora's eyes. "What will you give me for it?"

Cloud's expression was still shining with something that Sora didn't quite understand as he looked away and sifted through his own properties. No, not States Avenue. Sora really liked that one. His purchase of Virginia Avenue had been especially thrilling as Cloud had nearly beaten him to it. He didn't want to give that property up either. His brow furrowed and his full mouth pursed as he thought about whether or not Cloud would give him New York Avenue for St. James Place and fifty dollars of Monopoly money. That was a fair trade, wasn't it?

After what felt suspiciously like a lifetime, Sora looked up to blue eyes that were very much like his own and yet somehow still different. Cloud's irises held swirls of green that bled into the blue and they were so level with his in that moment that Sora wondered if the blonde had ever looked away. He shifted, feeling strangely uncomfortable as he made his offer.

"Okay, I'll give you St. James and fifty bucks for New York Avenue."

Cloud smiled in a way that made Sora think he just liked to see him squirm, or maybe beg, "Nope."

"Ahh, Cloud," Sora whined. "Come on. That's thirty dollars more than your stupid property is worth."

"But you want it so badly, I'd say its worth a lot more, don't you think?" Cloud propped an elbow on the coffee table, resting his chin in his upturned hand, his eyes shining deviously now. "How about… Two hundred with Water Works _and _St. James Place?"

"NO!" Sora exploded. "How is that fair?! If I give you Water Works, then you'll have both companies!"

"Aaaand if I give you New York Avenue, you'll be able to start putting houses up." Wiggling an eyebrow, his brother shifted just slightly, pushing his blanket back and rubbing a hand over the side of his face where blonde stubble was forming. "I don't think I'm ready to land on a house just yet. That is, unless you can't give me what I want…" He trailed off meaningfully, eyes glimmering.

Sora stuck his lower lip out into a pout, he couldn't help it. "…Clooooooud…"

"Soooraaaaaa." Laughing, Cloud shook his head. "If you're not going to, then take your turn please."

Huffing, Sora shuffled through his money, thrusting the one hundred in his face, along with St. James Place and Water Works. In the process, though, his jerky arm movement managed to hit the Chance cards and their money, along with their playing pieces. The board was sent halfway down the coffee table before hitting the edge and flipping over the side, sending paper money everywhere.

"Damn it, Sora…" Cloud tsked, taking his cover off his shoulders so he could sit up and lean over to begin picking up the money. "Guess that ends _that _game."

Regretful because his irritation with Cloud had ruined everything, Sora sat where he was, blue eyes peering sadly up at his older brother. "Cloud, I'm sorry…" he whispered.

"Hey, it's all right," Cloud said immediately, coming to his side and placing a hand in his brown spikes to ruffle them. "Don't worry about it, mistakes happen."

"But I don't want you to be mad…"

"Aw, I'm not mad, Sora." Giving him a reassuring smile, Cloud took his blanket and wrapped it around Sora's shoulders. That was what Sora liked about Cloud—despite the fact that Sora was in high school, he still managed to get upset a lot, and instead of chiding him like their parents did, Cloud was always the first one to try and make him feel better. Maybe that was why he was still sensitive, but Sora didn't mind. He knew Cloud would always be there, no matter what.

Smiling back, Sora nodded his head and cuddled the blanket around himself. "What do you want to play now?"

"Hmmm…" Cloud appeared to be contemplative. "How about—_wrestling_!" he suddenly growled, and he pounced.

"Ah!" Sora gasped as he rocked back against the floor in his quilted cocoon, completely at Cloud's mercy. He immediately struggled to untangle his limbs from the puffy comforter, and just as he managed to break free, Cloud was pulling his leg so that he couldn't possibly escape. In one movement, Cloud straddled his younger brother's slim waist and began tickle the boy's sides. Sora thrashed hopelessly under the constricting weight, Cloud's thighs tightening around his body and holding him in place.

"Cloud, stop!" Sora pleaded through breathless giggles.

Cloud only shook his head and continued as Sora arched under him, vainly trying to end the torture of his tickling. They hadn't play fought like this in a very long time. When they had been kids, it had nearly always ended with Sora in tears. There had been a time, as they had grown, somewhere before Sora's late growth spurt, that the size difference between them had just been too large and wrestling had ceased to be the habit that it had been in their shared youth. Now both boys were incredibly aware of how familiar the position was, how that inevitable closeness felt.

"Cloud! Get off. You're heavy," Sora finally complained after putting up with several more moments of Cloud's antics. His arms were now pinned above his head, Cloud gripping his wrists.

At the command, Cloud paused above Sora and allowed them each to catch their breaths without moving off. Sora reached up with a now free hand, wrist still tingling with the hold Could had on it a few seconds ago, and pushed aside fallen bangs. He was surprised to find a film of sweat over his forehead and mused that their wrestling match had certainly taken the chill out of the air. When he moved his hand away, his eyes locked with Cloud's.

Cloud's breathing started to slow, lashes lowering, blue irises looking a lot deeper than they normally did, darker, too, like a storm brewing. It made Sora's breath catch in his throat—had he ever gotten this close a look at those eyes?—and he could just make out those tiny flecks of green. Cloud's hair had fallen into his face, as well, spikes damp with sweat, coming out of their peaks, sort of plastered to Cloud's forehead, and Sora reached up without thinking, brushing them away.

Slender fingers abruptly wrapped around his wrist, and he jerked, startled, only to see Cloud eyeing him even more intently now, his thumb brushing over the inside of Sora's wrist, playing along the veins. It was brief, but it was enough to incite a shiver, and Sora's eyes lowered for a moment before glancing back up, not quite yet wanting to end this endless stare. Cloud's eyes were so pretty… why couldn't his be like that?

He felt warm breath on his cheek, and he blinked, heart constricting, before there was a loud shuffle in the hallway and they both looked towards the entrance of the living room with alarmed expressions. Seconds later and their father bustled through, only glancing over them for a moment before glancing back to his newspaper.

"Hey, what'd your mother tell you two about wrestling in the house? If you're going to do it, take it outside, ya hear?"

"Yes, Father," Cloud said obediently.

Without another word, Cloud lifted his body off Sora's and straightened his rumpled clothes. He offered Sora his hand, which the younger of the two Shiozu boys took very uncertainly. Sora looked at Cloud with confused eyes, but he allowed himself to be lifted onto his feet. Cloud had tugged a little too hard though, and Sora found his face buried in the dip of a strong chest before he could stop gravity. He stiffened, pushing away, but not before he could stop himself from inhaling the soft, intoxicating scent of Cloud's skin and feeling its heat all over again.

Sora tried to shake the sensation off, but only managed to look at Cloud as if searching for an explanation. An explanation of why on earth Cloud's body was so invitingly warm.

"Sorry," Cloud rubbed the back of his neck. "You're even lighter than you look."

"Y-Yeah…" Sora stuttered, finding no obvious answer in Cloud's face, but just before he turned away he thought he saw that same something from earlier flicker in Cloud's gaze again. What did it mean? "Well, I'm going to my room. Got some homework to finish."

His brother took a step closer, sliding his hand into Sora's hair and giving it an affectionate ruffle. His nails scraped delicately along Sora's scalp, however, and he shivered hard this time, unable to help himself. Cloud's hand stilled at that, and for a moment Sora was terrified that he had done something wrong, but when he looked up Cloud was only smiling, still petting Sora's hair comfortingly.

"If you need help, let me know."

Sora's mouth was dry, and it took several swallows against his throat before he could come up with anything to say. "Okay. But I think I'll be fine."

He felt Cloud's eyes boring into his back as he left the room, and he had no idea why it left him feeling oddly warm inside.

-o-o-

Lunch tray in hand, Sora scanned the cafeteria until an unmistakable head of shining silver hair came into view. As if he had read Sora's mind from across the room, Riku turned and smiled in his direction. The grin was warm and Sora returned it immediately.

"Over here, Sora," Riku called, shifting right to make room for his friend.

"Hey, Shiozu!" Tidus shouted down the long table before Sora could even sit down. "You guys book the site yet?"

"Of course," Sora answered immediately, just now lifting his leg over the bench. "Cloud called the campground last night."

Everyone's eyes, even Riku's, regarded Sora with heightening interest at the mention of his older brother. The boys had been doing this for quite a few years, each bringing their friends on the same camping trip. Last time though, Cloud nearly hadn't made it because work commitments had forced him to show up late, around midnight of their first day there. Sora had never doubted his presence, but the others had reluctantly begun to admit that Cloud's university lifestyle was making it less and less likely that he would go camping with a group of high school kids.

Selphie let out a poorly contained squeal, "He's still coming? With his _college friends_?"

"I don't know how many of them, but yeah," Sora said, laughing a little at her excitement. "But Cloud always comes, why wouldn't he go this year?"

"I don't know, because he's a sophomore in college already," Kairi said, her voice dripping with a bit of sarcasm, but she meant it good-naturedly. "You know, you're really lucky, Sora, not a lot of people have that sort of relationship with their family like you do. It'll really pay off one day!" She lifted a spoonful of apple sauce to her mouth.

"Haha, yeah," Tidus chipped in. "Think of when he dies: if he's rich, you'll claim all that inheritance!"

"Or nothing if he's poor," Riku added. "And then what a waste of time _that _would have been."

Everyone shared a laugh, including Sora, even though he returned it hesitantly. He didn't like thinking of Cloud like that. It's not like he was trying to _suck up _to Cloud. He wasn't a brown-noser. He just loved his older brother. Tidus didn't understand it, because he was an only child. Selphie had been raised in a family of six children, so she hadn't ever been that close to any of her siblings. Kairi was also an only child, and Riku barely managed to get any food around his house with two other siblings and his parents to share it with.

Sora had the relationship he did with his brother because there was only the two of them. That, and they weren't that far apart in age. It was only natural that they stick together like glue, right?

"Besides," Sora began, ignoring their attempt to try and playfully stir up some trouble. "Cloud knows how important this trip is to all of us." He gave Selphie a sly look. "You shouldn't make fun of him. He's gathering up those other college friends for _you_, Selphie, because he knows how into older men you are right now."

Kairi gasped, lowering her spoon from her mouth. "Hey, what about me?!" she gasped as Selphie smiled in delight, lowering her cheeks as they turned a bright red.

Sora shrugged, waving one hand around in the air offhandedly. "I don't know…"

"Sora!"

Sora grinned. "Of course, he had you in mind, _too_, Kairi."

Kairi nodded her head at Sora in a self-satisfied smirk before she turned to Selphie. With their heads together, the two girls began to plan sleeping arrangements and how to get one of these college boys into their tent. Something that Riku, with narrowed eyes, quickly informed them would not be hard to do. The look he gave Kairi was especially meaningful. She smiled, and when she turned back to Selphie, her enthusiasm was more measured.

Riku shook his head and spoke softly as he turned Sora, "You coming over to Tidus's after school?"

"What are you guys doing?" Sora asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

Riku chuckled, kindly scolding, "Chew first, Sora. And we're just going to playing video games, but it should be fun."

"Oh, I'd really like to, but I think Cloud is picking me up after school to go shopping for some new sleeping bags before we go camping," Sora said apologetically as Riku's face fell. "You can come, though. I mean, we'll probably go get something to eat after."

"Yeah," Riku nodded in acceptance of that plan, "sure."

Sora smiled, knowing that Riku would be pleased with anything that didn't involve going home and being yelled at for interrupting someone's studying. Especially if that anything involved Cloud.

"Great. Then it's settled."

-o-o-

The air felt good pushing through his hair, zipping past his ears, roaring along as they cut through it at the speed of seventy-five miles per hour. Cloud was a speeder, but he was a good driver, at least, and it was nice that he had a convertible. It made Sora feel sort of free, and the windshield was taking away the sting of the air.

"Are you sure we can't pull the top up, Cloud?" Riku yelled from the back seat, fighting to be heard, along with trying to keep his hair intact. He had his hands over it, pushing it back into a ponytail, but the strands were too choppy and short and kept flying free around his face. "This is really annoying, and I didn't bring a brush!"

"Sure, after we stop," the blonde replied, not taking his eyes off the road as he flipped on his blinker and cut off a red truck behind them. "But it'll be a while, so try and suck it up okay?"

Riku moaned pitifully, but did as told, slumping down in the seat and closing his eyes. He looked very disgruntled, brows furrowed, lips pursed, legs sprawled out onto either side of the floorboard. He had his fingers shoved in his hair now, palms half over his eyes, silver strands of hair peeking through and shimmering in the bright sunlight.

Despite Riku's discomfort, it really _was _a pleasant day. There wasn't even a rain cloud in sight. It was the warmest it had been for weeks. Riku would probably feel better once he got someplace and was able to fix his hair and primp in the mirror for a few minutes. That was the thing about Riku—despite being really masculine, he still had his feministic characteristics. It was always interesting to watch them play out, too.

Stifling a giggle, Sora turned back around in his seat, smiling into the wind. Cloud's fingers moved briefly over his head in a brotherly tousle, but when Sora didn't shove him off like he normally did, the fingers lingered, sliding down to the base of his skull, cupping around the nape of his neck. Cloud's fingers were a little cold from the wind, and they felt relaxing against his warm skin.

His smile turned dreamy, and he closed his eyes like Riku had, tilting his head back against the hand.

Cloud began to slow the car for an approaching red light, his fingers now playing with the short hairs at the back of Sora's neck. The wind was fading and the road required less of his attention. Vehicle still easing along the road to the stop line, he allowed himself to look right and smile at Sora's serene expression.

"Guys, I—" Riku finally looked up and stopped mid-sentence. Cloud was gazing over at Sora, not the road, like he wanted to say something. Or as if he had just whispered words that had blown past Riku in the current of air created by the car and was now waiting calmly for his little brother's response. The moment seemed strangely intimate and Riku began to feel like he was intruding on the brothers' privacy.

But the sound of his voice had jolted Sora back to reality, and Cloud drew his hand away, albeit leisurely. Riku swore he could see Sora shudder at the lingering touch, but that could have been his imagination. That slight shiver had passed before he could really think about it. In an instant, the scene before him had shifted completely; Cloud now gripped only the steering wheel and Sora was twisting around in his car seat to smile over his shoulder at Riku. Playful. Bright as the sky around them.

Sora's didn't seem to care that his face was delicately flushed, and Riku couldn't have guessed if it was from the wind or something else, "You okay back there?"

"I'm fine," Riku huffed. "How much further is it?"

"I told you that it would be a while, or has growing older made you listen less?" Cloud teased, throwing him a smirk in the rearview mirror.

Riku glared back, crossing his arms and turning his head to the side. A little kid was looking right back at him from the tinted windows of the Suburban pulled next to them. She was kind of cute—or would be, if it wasn't for the way she had her nose pulled up by her thumb into a pig's snout.

"Oh, real beautiful, kid," Riku snapped, even though she couldn't hear him, and muttered, shaking his head. Why did he have to sit in the back? Sora didn't care about his hair—he wouldn't mind if it got in a mess from sitting back here and letting Riku in the front. But nooo, Cloud had insisted that Sora claim the front seat. And since it was Cloud's car, Riku had had to agree.

"Aw, co'mere, Riku," Sora instructed, arms outstretched towards the back seat, knees now digging into the cushioned back of his own.

Riku eyed his best friend skeptically, "What are you doing?"

"It's not really that far to the store. Cloud just likes to see you squirm. It is kind of funny, but I'll help hold your hair in place if you'd like."

"How you are going to that?" Riku asked in stubborn disbelief. As if fixing his hair was going to be that simple.

But he leaned forward and Sora reached over, gingerly brushing sun-glistened silver hair out of Riku's eyes. Sora flattened the windswept locks, carefully separating them into their proper positions, until a satisfied grin spread across his lips. Even with Riku's hair back in place, nearly as perfect as it was usually kept (in Sora's eyes anyway), the amazed brunette allowed himself to play with the silken strands a while longer. They really did possess a touchable softness.

Normally, Riku would have swatted the hand away, but Sora's touch was gentle and impossible to resist. It felt nice to allow someone to play with his hair. Riku would have preferred it to be Kairi, but Sora wasn't so bad.

Sora finally let go and winked at Riku in assurance. "There. Now I'll protect you from the wind, Riku! Just stay close and—"

"Sora, sit properly." Cloud's voice was tighter then Riku had heard it sound in a long time.

"It's fine, Cloud. I'm all right."

"Sora, I mean it. The light's going to turn. In your seat now."

"No, Cloud. I—"

Sora stopped as Cloud's fingers curled over the hem of his jean, in the gap between fabric and skin at the small of his back. He let out a startled cry, Cloud tugging him down until his knees bent. Sora went red and shot Cloud an angry glare, not moving from his position.

"It's okay, Sora," Riku said quickly, his eyes telling Sora to listen to Cloud. He tried to take the edge off the situation with a joke. "It's too late for my hair now. We fought a valiant battle. But don't you guys worry. It will be back in fine, lady-killing form tomorrow."

Sora eyed Cloud for a moment longer, then finally did as he was told, pushing up from his position over Riku and slumping back down in his seat, but not without a huff. He crossed his arms, glaring out to the right, not seeing the trees or the grass whipping past as they took off from the white line, the engine purring and the wind resuming its roar.

Behind him, Riku looked towards the eldest brother, wondering what his problem was. He sucked in a gasp of surprise when he found himself on the end of the darkest glare he had ever seen. Those blue eyes were narrowed to almost slits, searing straight through Riku, making him uncomfortable and slightly hurt. He tore his gaze away first, staring down at his hands in his lap, ignoring his hair whipping around his face for now.

Geeze. Why was Cloud so mad?

The rest of the ride to the sporting goods store remained in silence, filled only by the usual highway sounds and that irritating wind. Cloud kept his fingers clenched tightly on the steering wheel, Riku remained quiet in his seat, and Sora tried to ignore the angry burning in his heart. Cloud had never talked to him that way before, at least not in a while. What was his problem?!

When they were just about to pull in, however, he felt Cloud's hand touch his knee, cupping over it, and when he raised his gaze to Cloud's, he found the blonde giving him an apologetic expression. His thumb stroked once over Sora's knee, making it jerk up because he found it ticklish, but he smiled at the same time. He couldn't stay that mad at Cloud for long, could he?

"We're here," Cloud announced, returning the smile to Sora before pulling into the first vacant parking spot he came across. He turned the ignition off, keys jingling, and held down the backseat so that Riku could climb out. As the silver-haired boy landed agilely on his feet, he tried to ignore the dirty look of contempt that Cloud was still giving him, but it was hard.

Riku gritted his teeth and took the stretch of black pavement to the store entrance in long strides with Sora in between him and Cloud. He was still vaguely annoyed with the tone Cloud had taken towards him. Here he had been looking forward to seeing the university student all day, and Cloud had the nerve to glare at him. Just because Sora had tried to help him. Tried to help him after what Cloud's ridiculous convertible had done to his hair.

He sighed, wishing he had just gone to Tidus's place. Next to him, Sora seemed to sense his bitterness, but was too preoccupied with fears of alarming Cloud again to do much more than smile.

"Sleeping bags are at the back, right, Cloud?"

Sora sounded incredibly obedient now, and Cloud's lips curled upwards imperceptibly, "Yeah, that's right."

Making a beeline for the nearest bathroom, Riku left their side, and the blonde took this opportunity to grab Sora by his elbow and gently steer him towards the back of the store, the tiny smirk on his face not quite leaving yet. Sora wondered what it meant, but didn't bother pressing, letting himself be led, his eyes scanning over the numerous shelves they were passing. Baseball, football, soccer, ski gear…

"So are you excited about the trip?" Cloud asked conversationally, the fingers of his free hand skimming over the gripping of a tennis racket.

"Yeah!" Sora beamed, pulling away so that he could admire a snowboard, wondering how much it would cost just to buy one and then everything that had to go with it. It was pretty expensive, and it usually didn't snow around here for another month or so. Maybe their family could go to the mountains again this year. It had been a while… what, since Sora was seven? Ten years now. Hmm…

"I'm surprised that you're not tired of me coming with you guys on this trip yet," his brother said at his back, and Sora glanced up and over his shoulder to see a crease between Cloud's furrowed brows. He seemed kind of worried…

Letting his smile spread, Sora shook his head. "No, of course not!"

Even after this earnest reply, Cloud's pale lips remained set in a straight line, "Riku seems a little… annoyed with me."

"Don't worry about it, Cloud. He's always like that about his hair. He was really excited to see you again. Everyone at lunch was when I told them… you… were… coming…"

Sora's voice slowed as he spoke the last words. Cloud was watching him so intently that the sentence seemed to die in his throat. It suddenly struck Sora, as he looked away and saw Cloud's knuckles go white around the tennis racket, that maybe his brother didn't really care about Riku at all. Maybe not Riku, and definitely not Selphie, with her girlish fantasies. That wasn't the sort of reassurance Cloud was looking for.

"As long as you want me there," Cloud muttered through his teeth, no longer looking at Sora.

The younger brother paused at the intensity, but quickly forced himself to shake it off, deciding that Cloud was just feeling a little sensitive about turning twenty in a few months. "Geeze, Cloud. I already told you I did. What? You think just because you're getting old I'm going to be embarrassed by you?"

"I'm not getting old," Cloud corrected, his expression beginning to lighten. "I'm merely getting ol_der_."

"Sure, Cloud…" Sora rolled his eyes, but tossed a big grin the blonde's way.

"Co'mere," Cloud commanded with a warm laugh, jerking his head over his shoulder a bit.

"Nope! No horseplay in the store, Cloud!"

"I should hope not," Riku's voice cut in.

Both brothers looked up to see the other boy standing there, one eyebrow raised sardonically, his hair still mussed but not as bad as it had been in the car. Sora knew that the moment Riku got home, he'd be attacking that mess with a brush. Still, though, Riku looked beautiful no matter what.

Cloud merely glanced at Riku before brushing past him, his eyes on the sleeping rolls that they were now nearing. Riku took this moment to come close to Sora, whispering low enough that the blonde or anyone else wouldn't be able to hear, "Sora… something's going on."

Frowning, the brunette rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "What do you mean?"

Riku jerked his head in Cloud's direction but didn't take his eyes off Sora. "You know what… Cloud's being really different, and why is he getting so mad that all of us are going on the trip?"

"He's not getting mad!" Sora was quick to defend, his frown deepening. "Maybe you're just being a bit sensitive, Riku. Cloud's hurt because you seem irritated with him."

Riku opened his mouth, snapped it shut, something unreadable passing through his eyes. The two boys stared at each other for a tense moment, then Riku let out a curt, "Mmmm_hm_," and pivoted, striding away from Sora and to the right. Sora didn't know what was in that direction, but frankly he didn't care. He quickened his step and hurried back to Cloud's side, touching his arm.

His brother looked down at him, raising his eyebrows. "Sora?"

Sora's lower lip trembled for a moment. "…You're right, Cloud, I don't know _what _Riku's problem is. He tried to totally go off on me just a minute ago."

Cloud narrowed his eyes, but when he spoke his voice was warm and consoling, "It's not your fault, Sora."

"Well, I wish he wouldn't be like that. I wanted us to have fun, not start fighting."

With a forgiving expression, Cloud reached out and laid his palm over Sora's shoulder, "Hey, don't worry about it. Let's just get you a good sleeping bag. Wouldn't want you waking up shivering like the last time."

"That's okay, though, because we just cuddled and it got warm, remember?" Smiling at the memory, Sora reached over, grabbing onto the first sleeping bag he saw and began to examine it. Cloud was close behind him, but he spoke in a measured voice this time, softly, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to be heard or not.

"You don't think we're a bit too old for that now?"

"I don't _think _so," Sora replied thoughtfully, looking up and puckering his brows. "…Hm. Neither of us mind. Right?" He glanced towards his brother, who was letting his lips spread into that tiny little smirk again.

"No, Sora," he assured him, reaching over to slip his fingers through spiky locks of hair. "Neither of us mind at all."

-o-o-

Sora sighed, chewing on the end of his pencil, chemistry notes laid out across his desk before him. Chemistry? Why the hell had he taken chemistry? Well, he knew why. Because Riku was in it.

That thought only brought another frown to his lips. Riku was still acting weird about the trip to the sports store with Cloud, and although Sora was trying to understand, he really couldn't. So Riku's hair had gotten a little messy? It's not like Kairi was around to see it. It was only Sora and Cloud. And as beautiful as Sora had to admit that Riku was, he felt only friendship for the attractive young boy. Not that he needed to depress himself further by mulling over his lack of a love life. High school boys just didn't do it for him.

He tapped his pencil against the mahogany desk and was just about to force himself to tackle the difficult problem again when he heard a knock at his door.

"Sora?"

The brunette smiled at the sound of Cloud's voice and leaned back in his chair, calling out, "Come in!"

The door opened and a head full of blonde spikes peeked around it, revealing cautious blue eyes. "Is it okay…? I know you told me the other day you didn't want help with your homework."

"Oh, that was with English. Heehee, you're really good at chemistry, right? Help me!" Sora gathered up his papers and books and began to move over to his bed with them so that Cloud could sit down. Plopping down on his stomach, he pointed with his pencil to the particular problem that had been burdening him with its difficulty for the last few minutes. "I don't get how to do this one…"

"Hmmm." Humming thoughtfully, Cloud carefully closed the door behind him before padding across the room and climbing onto the bed with Sora. He nestled in to rest beside him, holding onto the page as his eyes skimmed carefully over Sora's messy handwriting. "Well… Give me that pencil."

A few minutes later and they had it mostly figured out, with Sora laughing at his own denseness and Cloud smiling at how cute it looked.

"Gah, I'm such an idiot!" Sora cried, rolling over onto his back, not caring how that crumpled the papers now beneath him. "I swear I'm not always this dense…"

Cloud patted his pudgy stomach and grinned before letting his hand rest there. He admired the rise and fall of it beneath his touch, even with Sora's breathing, and Sora quieted, a usual smile on his face as he closed his eyes and breathed in deep.

"Mmm, are you wearing that new cologne again?"

"Yeah."

"What's it called?" Sora asked curiously, slipping open his eyes halfway to peer up at his brother, who was eyeing him intently again, fingers rubbing against Sora's stomach. It felt nice, sending warm tendrils through him, flickering against his heart and his mind, calming him down from the migraine that had been developing over that stupid homework assignment. Cloud always knew how to make him feel better.

"Be Delicious. You like it?"

"Yeah, I love it." Giggling a little, Sora shifted, making Cloud's hand slide to his side, where he resumed his casual stroking. Sora pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, trying not to laugh. "Hey, that tickles…"

"You're ticklish everywhere!" Cloud exclaimed with feigned exasperation. "Maybe if you got a little more contact…"

"It's not for lack of opportunity," Sora jutted the lip he had been chewing on, "if that's what you're trying to say."

"Of course not, you're _my _little brother after all."

Sora grinned, "That's rriiight."

Cloud returned the smile, looking down as his squeezed Sora's waist, admiring how the soft flesh yielded to his touch. "You've got more pudge than I ever had though," he teased affectionately.

"Shut up!" Sora cried indignantly, scrambling out of Cloud's grasp and onto his knees. "Let's see where you're ticklish."

Cloud laughed, "I believe you'll find that I'm not ticklish anywhere."

"Slut," Sora muttered jokingly, his face scrunched cutely as he planned his attack.

"Hmm, not quite," Cloud returned, easily wrapping an arm around Sora's shoulders and pulling him back down against his side. "But you know, you are smarter than I was at your age," he added, ruffling his brother's hair. And then, lower, voice warm and slightly rumbling as he pushed Sora's head to rest against his chest, "I'm so proud of you…"

Sora couldn't help but smile at that, closing his eyes again. "Really…?"

"Mhmm…"

"So if you're so proud of me then I guess you won't mind when I do _this_!" Sora cried suddenly, pulling back only to pounce forward again, his hands mercilessly attacking Cloud's sides as they two boys fell back on the bed.

"Oof!" Cloud gasped, laughing as he raised his legs, bent them at the knees, spreading them and letting Sora fall between them onto his stomach where he easily grabbed the brunette's wrists and held them above his head. "I'm not ticklish and you're _slow_."

"I am not!" Sora struggled with his arms in the air for a few more seconds, before relenting. "Lemme go, Cloud."

Cloud half obliged, not releasing his grip on Sora's wrists until he had pulled his brother back against his chest. Sora didn't fight the embrace at all this time. He was tired and Cloud was enticingly warm, so he only snuggled into the position the blonde had arranged for him. The agreeable shift of weight made Cloud sigh, exhaling as Sora's head settled itself in the dip of his muscles, so close to his heart that Cloud wasn't at all surprised when Sora murmured something about hearing its beat.

"This is nice, right, Sora?"

Sora nodded along Cloud's upper torso. "We could move all these papers and stay like this a while."

"Yeah, we should. Remember when we shared a room?" Cloud mused. "I don't think you ever slept in your own bed."

"I know. Sometimes I think it's still a shame that Mom finally moved you down to the guest room." Pouting a little, Sora slipped his eyes closed, one hand coming up to rest against Cloud's side. "We were the closest those days." He released a sigh, slightly wistful. "Now you're in college, and it's not like it used to be."

"Oh? I thought our bond was stronger than ever," Cloud disagreed, letting his arms come up to rest comfortably around Sora's slender waist. "Besides, if you feel that… you want to be closer, then that's fine by me. Whatever makes you happy, Sora."

Sora paused for a moment, replaying that sentence over in his head, trying to figure out what it had meant and where it was coming from. Whatever made him happy? Cloud hadn't ever quite said it like _that _before… There seemed to be some sort of hidden meaning behind it, but when Sora lifted his head to stare down into Cloud's face, he was met with nothing but a sweet smile.

_Hmmm… _

Cloud's hands shifted, came to rest on the swell of Sora's hips, and he tilted his head a little. "So what was that about moving papers?"

The younger brother grinned, poking Cloud in the nose. "I can't move when you're holding me captive, Cloudy."

Cloud's eyes darkened inexplicably at the innocent statement, but Sora failed to notice. "I don't really see you trying to get away." The blonde smirked, still cradling Sora's motionless hips. He moved his hands back and forth in opposite directions until Sora's body swayed under his guidance, as if to demonstrate that the brunette was more than free to move if he wanted to. As if to say that he had always been so. Feeling captured was all in Sora's imagination; Cloud would never do that. No, Cloud only did what Sora allowed. What Sora asked for.

Sora giggled at the spinning sensation, not at all bothered by the approach Cloud had taken. "Okay, okay. I'm going."

Pushing off of Cloud's knees, fingertips squeezing around the hard caps, Sora sat straight up. He looked around at the mess of papers and limbs on his sheets and began to arrange his books in a stack that would ultimately be abandoned at his bedside for the rest of the night. Cloud lifted himself into a plank on his elbows and reached under his back, handing Sora the final pieces of loose-leaf, before settling back down on Sora's forgiving mattress. He watched Sora lean over the edge of the bed, shirt falling forward along the slope of his spine to reveal pale skin as he deposited his schoolwork on the floor. When Sora popped back up, Cloud was waiting with an inviting smile.

Sora rolled his head back comfortably, before instantly falling back into his previous position, his gentle weight once again gracing over Cloud's compliant body. This time though, he pulled a pillow behind Cloud's neck, watching with softened features as those flaxen tresses splayed across its surface. When he was content with his brother's comfort, Sora pulled a thin blanket with him as he positioned himself over Cloud's broad chest, their bodies intertwined under the quilt.

With a content sigh, Cloud absently stroked the back of Sora's neck, murmuring a simple word that shouldn't have made the younger brother tremble like he did. "Happy?"

Wondering at the odd warmth settling in his stomach, so different from usual, Sora brought a fist up to his mouth and bit into his knuckles, his other arm lying loosely against Cloud's side, tiny shudders running down his spine from the touches on his sensitive neck. Was he happy? Yeah, he was happy…

He nodded his head, cheek rubbing against the soft, cottony surface of Cloud's hoodie, hummed in his throat when those fingers slid up into his hair. It was warm and comfortable here. How could he _not _be happy?

-o-o-

"Hey, Cloud!" Sora cried as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, the house phone clutched in his hand. He breathlessly skidded to a stop in front of his brother's door, lifting his fist to bang against it. "The reservation called. Apparently a family camping in the black trail cancelled, and they wanted to know if we'd like to do that one instead?"

"Are they still on the phone?" came his brother's muffled voice through the door.

"No. I didn't get to the phone on time, there was a message left on the answering machine." Lowering his fist, Sora placed it to his stomach instead, thinking that maybe he should work out some more. God, this cramp…

"All right. Come in."

Sora hurriedly obeyed, determined to have Cloud call the campground back and secure the more advanced trail. He knew Riku would be pleased with the upgrade and it meant that they would all have more privacy at their site, making the receipt of a noise complaint less likely. In his eagerness, Sora burst through the doorway, already holding the phone out for Cloud when the sight before his eyes stopped him in his tracks.

Cloud's shirtless back was to him, straining, muscles rippling and shoulder blades jutting as he fixed his blonde spikes. Light pants were slung low over Cloud's narrow hips, and with his hands in the air, they seemed in danger of slipping down those last few centimeters that stood to protect Cloud's modesty. Just a little farther… The cramp in Sora's stomach was replaced with an unusual jolt, but he didn't cease his spell of admiration.

The blonde's body was simply perfect. So firm that it looked to have been sculpted from the most exquisite marble, and yet Sora was sure that no rock could ever be so immaculately white. The exposed skin was just so flawless. Why, oh why, did Sora feel a sudden urge to touch it? Maybe because he knew for a fact that it was as soft as it looked.

When Cloud turned around, he looked completely at ease with his half-nakedness and merely smiled at Sora's soft, speechless awe. _Oh God. _Sora's head spun. His mind screamed _hipbonehipbonehipbone! _and that something unexpected continued to stir in his gut. The front of Cloud, that deliciously flat stomach, was even more beautiful to behold than the back. Sora knew he was going to have to look away, but he couldn't find the strength, the enticing dips and curves of Cloud's body continuing to transfix his blue eyes, pulling his gaze upwards. The faint outline of ribs. Those nipples. They were pink and pert and Sora had never thought that nipple appearance was something to be concerned about, but Cloud's were somehow perfect. Ideal, if such a thing could be said.

Just below a defined collar bone, towards Cloud's left shoulder, there lay a small birthmark. Sora had also never paid much attention to things like that, but seeing the freckle on Cloud's skin made him realize that he had the same mark on his own. He'd never been as aware of it as he was in that moment. It struck him while watching Cloud, as vaguely amusing, how alike and unlike their bodies were. Despite the utter absence of pudge and all the perfectly defined muscles on Cloud's form, a small spot still proved their brotherhood.

Then Sora realized that he had been silently staring for far too long and he blushed. "I… I can come back," he stammered. Why was he so nervous around his brother all of the sudden? Well, his own body pretty much paled in comparison to the one before him. Maybe he was just… intimidated?

"Sora," Cloud chuckled fondly. "Don't be so shy. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

Oh, no. Cloud was wrong. It was definitely _not_ something Sora had seen before. Cloud hadn't looked _that _good the last time they'd gone swimming together.

"I… The number's on the phone…" Sora paused, finally looking away as he tossed the cordless on Cloud's bed. "I'm gonna go." He didn't know what else to say. _Don't be so shy. _But what was he supposed to do?

"Hm, wait a moment," his brother replied, and Sora made the mistake of glancing up again, catching those rippling muscles as Cloud turned, looking into the mirror over his dresser. "I think I have a mole on my back, but I'm not sure."

"A m-mole?" His hand trembling slightly, Sora ran his fingers through his hair. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"Don't be so rude, Sora," Cloud tsked. "I can't see it. Can you tell me if _you_ see it or not?"

Sora didn't want to bring his gaze back over that broad expanse of flesh, especially with how edgy his nerves were right now, but he reasoned that he was being stupid. Cloud was his _brother_. What did he have to fear? It seemed, oddly enough, that the answer to that question would be himself, though he had no idea _why_.

Stepping closer, Sora scanned that pale skin for any blemishes and finally found the mole that Cloud was talking about near the small of his back. He looked away again quickly, nodding his head, folding his arms over his chest. "Yeah, you have one."

"Hm, yeah, thought so. Could you touch it so I know where it's at?"

Sora nearly jumped a foot back, he was suddenly so eager to get out of the damned room. "W-What?! Cloud, that's what a mirror's for!"

Cloud actually looked hurt at that, blue eyes narrowing as his brows furrowed. It seemed to be a familiar expression lately—hurt, worried, anxious. Why? Why was he so paranoid? "Sora, I told you that I couldn't see it in a mirror, what makes you think I know where it is?"

"I—I…" The brunette faltered, suddenly at a loss for words. Cloud was right. He really _did _need to stop being rude. If Cloud couldn't see the damn thing, why was it such a big deal for Sora to just point out where it was? What would it cost him? _Possibly my sanity. _

Completely unnerved now, Sora let out a trembling breath and nodded once, coming back towards his brother, slipping a hand up and pressing his fingers against the small of his back, over the small, brown mole. "It's right…" he began, only to trail off as the soft, warm skin shuddered slightly and a gasp that wasn't his own filled the air.

"…"

Wetting his lips, that heat from earlier suddenly singing through him, the jolt becoming knots in his stomach that tightened until he could barely breathe, Sora brushed his fingers over that patch of skin again. His lashes lowered when he heard the gasp return, deeper this time, carrying more of a lilt to it. Sort of like… Cloud had… _moaned_, almost… maybe… possibly…

He didn't stop his hand from pressing flat against Cloud's back, palm rubbing into it as his fingers began to creep up, tracing over a prominent spine, and then to those shoulder blades he had admired minutes before. They flexed back into his touch, and Sora took a step even closer to his brother, his other hand coming up, joining the first. Such warm skin… warm, delicate skin…

Then, Sora's mind started to turn again, the enchantment of Cloud's soft flesh and low groans giving way to reality. He withdrew his hands hastily and brought one of them up to his mouth, hiding a whimper. What the hell was he doing? Again his stomach twisted, this time with painful confusion, and he wanted to run from the room, but his feet were rooted in place.

"Holy shit," Sora whispered against the back of his hand, lips quivering.

Cloud turned around, that familiar pacifying expression on his face. He was going to do it again; he was going to make Sora forget that anything was wrong. The younger brother moaned inwardly. He didn't want that this time. He didn't want Cloud to stroke his hair and squeeze his shoulder and tell him it was all right. It wasn't okay anymore. For the first time Sora saw all the boundaries they were crossing and the realization was almost sickening.

"Hey, Sora…" Cloud stopped as the shuddering brunette tore away from his outstretched arm.

Sora's voice cracked, "I'm going this time. Just…" In his efforts to avoid Cloud's questioning stare, he caught sight of the phone lying atop blue sheets. "Just call the campground, okay?"

He was out the door before Cloud could say otherwise.

-o-o-

"_Hey, don't you trust me?" _

"_Trust you?" _

"_Yeah…" _

"_I… guess so." _

"_What does that mean?" _

"_Just that—I've always trusted you." _

"_Yeah." _

"_I've always trusted you… but why?" _

_The shadow shifted, seemingly confused. A hand raised and then lowered before lifting yet again and rubbing over the back of its neck. The shadow began to take more of a humanish form then, becoming tall and slender, with spiky hair and familiar blue eyes. Darkness seeped away just a little, revealing peach-colored skin and a smattering of freckles along a face that looked so similar to his own it was sometimes scary when he looked in the mirror and thought he saw his brother looking back at him. _

"_What do you mean, why?" The shadow's other hand reached out, although now it wasn't much of a shadow anymore. Just a… phantom. "Why can't you trust me now?" The phantom was angry. It advanced a step. _

_He was already running, his footsteps echoing against the tiled floor that gave way to linoleum and then to dirt and then to water and then he was falling face first, unable to breathe, bubbles exploding through his surroundings. _

"_Why can't you trust me now?" _

_-There are invisible lines you must never cross, Sora- _

_-It's a sin- _

"_Why can't you trust me now?" _

_-A very bad sin- _

_Why can't you trust me now? _

_Everything was growing dark, so dark. _

_-Hey… trust me- _

He woke up inhaling sharp gulps of air, frantically tearing at whatever had managed to wound itself around his neck in his sleep. His sheets came away seconds later, and he stared down at them, lungs constricting, throat burning as he panted. Dear God, he had almost suffocated himself.

Sora swiped a hand over his brow, and it came away damp. A quick glance at the alarm clock revealed that it was three in the morning. Much too early to be up just yet. …But how was he going to get back to sleep now?

Sighing heavily, he plopped back down, stretching his limbs out across his mattress. Who cared about sleep? Just how was he supposed to deal with Cloud? His dream had brought things back into stark reality, not to mention what had transpired the day before. He could still remember Cloud's creamy skin and the husky noises he had been making as Sora ran his fingers all over it.

Nausea swept through him, and he swallowed hard, closing his eyes, trying to blot out the scene from his head but it was mostly in vain. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forget it. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't really started it, if _he _hadn't been the one standing there, ogling Cloud's body, and then to go so far as to touch it, even at Cloud's request. Cloud hadn't requested anything past finding his mole for him, though…

What was even more pressing was that—if Cloud couldn't see the mole, then how did he know that it was there? Sora had one of his own moles on his left hip. He didn't even feel it half the time. …So what did that mean?

He thought back to everything that had happened between them lately. The wrestling match, Cloud touching his neck the way he had in the car, Cloud steering him towards being angry at Riku—poor Riku! And he hadn't even _done _anything, and yet Sora had verbally attacked him because Cloud had mentioned that he was "upset" with Riku. And then… the other day. On his bed. The cuddling…

Sora was on his feet and running to the bathroom before he could let the contents of his stomach go on the floor. Minutes later and he sat there, the tile cool against his knees as he tilted his head back and tried to ignore the acidic burn in his throat.

…_What have I done? _

-o-o-

Forehead in his palm, Sora inhaled a shuddery breath as the noise level around him swelled, perfectly oblivious to the pounding in his temples. He was sitting outside on cool, metal bleachers, unable to keep from trembling even as he hugged himself in his jacket. The air was a warm autumn current, but it did nothing to stop the shivering in Sora's core. Why wouldn't the nausea go away? It seemed to have doubled in the presence of so many carefree students. He didn't belong there, so tainted with feelings he shouldn't have.

He brushed his bangs aside as the wind swept them up carelessly, somehow managing a forced smile as he mused that maybe he understood how Riku had felt in that car ride, but really he knew that his friend's aggravation had been much worse. Riku. It felt like he hadn't talked to Riku in forever. It felt like he hadn't had a normal conversation with anyone in a very long time. All he had been listening to for the past few weeks was Cloud's advice, Cloud's consoling, Cloud's requests.

How could he have not stopped it sooner? Why had he secretly wanted it to continue?

Without warning, someone tapped his shoulder and Sora jumped, straightening in his seat. He whirled around, only to find Riku and Kairi, both smiling patiently, looking so completely normal. Sora watched wordlessly as Riku hopped down to his level on the bleachers, then held out his hand to help Kairi.

"Hey, Sora, you don't look so good," Riku observed, genuinely concerned by Sora's tired appearance.

"I—I'm fine," Sora replied evasively, relieved to see Riku, but he secretly wished he could have been with his friend alone in that moment. Not that he didn't like Kairi, but she tended to have a loud, blabbing mouth when it came to things people didn't want discussed openly. Well, wait a moment… Could he have really told Riku the situation, even if he had wanted to?

He thought on that for a moment. Riku… Riku would probably be disgusted with Sora right now, that or he would play it off as all of Cloud's fault, and it wasn't. It wasn't entirely his older brother's fault. He hadn't exactly done anything to help the situation. He _liked _cuddling with Cloud, he _liked _being consoled and pampered by the blonde. He…

Sora quickly put a hand over his mouth, afraid for a horrifying moment that he was going to be sick again. When the feeling passed, he looked up at Riku with a strained smile. "I'm fine," he said again. "Really."

Riku's concern didn't falter; he only examined Sora more skeptically, squinting into the setting sun at the brunette's back. When he finally spoke, his voice was so gentle, so pure and motiveless that Sora's heart ached. "Well, if you want, I can drive you home."

The huff of disapproval from Kairi's lips was quiet, but not missed by Sora.

"No, it's okay. I just want to watch the game," he said. The longer he stayed at school, the better, no matter how alienated it made him feel. Cloud was undoubtedly home, waiting to talk to him, ready to tell him there was nothing wrong with what they had done.

Riku nodded at Sora's assertion and turned his gaze to the field, his arm snaking around Kairi's small waist, drawing her against his side. Sora felt his expression crumble and he turned away. That was what he should have been doing. Finding a girlfriend, holding her, telling her how beautiful she was. Cloud should have been doing the same. Sora realized now that it should have struck him as odd that someone who looked like Cloud didn't date much. He winced, unable to stop himself from wondering exactly how long Cloud had been hiding these unspeakable feelings.

Lost in the sickening thought, Sora only vaguely heard Kairi announce that she was going to get a drink. Riku looked momentarily torn, but seemed to decide Sora needed his company more.

"I mean it, Sora," Riku leaned in slightly. "I'll take you home."

"I don't want to go home," Sora reassured him. "I do want to watch the game."

Riku let his eyes flick briefly over to the cheerleaders and the coaches screaming at the football players. "…You never liked the games. Why are you here, anyway?"

"I wanted to think, geeze," Sora snapped, but when Riku's face began to close up, he was immediately guilty and apologetic. "H-Hey… I'm sorry, I just… I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"But why?" His friend took a seat on the semi-warm bench beside him, their knees casually touching, and Sora was dismayed to find it did nothing for him. Not that he had been trying to find Riku attractive—maybe it really was true. Maybe people his own age just didn't make it.

"No reason," Sora sighed. "Insomnia, probably. Listen… Kairi obviously wants you to spend some time with her. So—maybe you should go and help her with the drinks, pay for them or something?" He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, cocking an eyebrow. "Before she thinks you're cheating on her."

"Haha, good one, Sora," the other boy laughed, smacking him one on the arm. "All right, I'll take your advice. But… if you need me to take you home or anything—or just need me period—let me know, all right? I'll be back in a few minutes." Giving Sora an affectionate pat on the head, Riku got to his feet and began to maneuver his way back through the people. Moments later and he was gone.

Sora sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his face drop into the palms of his hands.

Shit. Why had things gone so horribly wrong? And why had he let them get that way? He could have stopped it sooner, if it had occurred to him, if it had really bothered him. But that was just the damn problem, wasn't it? It _didn't _bother him. And this thought, more than any other, scared him the most.

-o-o-

Sora groaned and rolled stiffly onto his back, rubbing his eyes with the pads of his thumb and forefinger until the raw feeling behind the lids went away. Morning light was filtering through his thin curtains, but it was the weekend and he wanted to sleep more; he needed it after the past two nights. Wasn't that what Riku had told him when he had finally been dropped off after the football game? _Make sure you get some rest, Sora. _He was trying, but it wasn't that simple. He couldn't spend another minute in the same bed that he had initiated a cuddling session with his brother on.

Abruptly sitting up, Sora stood and listened very carefully for sounds from the next room, any sign that Cloud was awake. That was how he had been getting around his house lately, cautiously, always listening and looking for Cloud. Sticking to his parents' sides and insisting that Riku came in for no reason other than to have someone else to look at when he passed Cloud pretending to read in the living room.

After a few moments, Sora massaged the back of his sore neck and decided that since Cloud didn't seem to be stirring, he would take a hot shower to relax his muscles. As he shuffled out his door, briefly surprised to find it locked though he quickly remembered why, he couldn't help shaking his head. It was ridiculous to think that he could simply avoid Cloud for the rest of his life. The blonde slept in the room beside his. Cloud was bound to corner him sooner or later. Sora was being to think that sooner would be better, or that at least it would ease the apprehension some.

Feeling incredibly aware of his body, Sora undressed quickly, avoiding the mirror's reflection and dropping his clothes in a heap on the floor. He shivered down to his bones (why was he always cold lately?), but was determined to forget about Cloud for the duration of his shower as he turned the hot water tap to near the stinging point. The patter of water against porcelain should have been calming, but all Sora could think of was that he hoped to God Cloud couldn't hear the shower noises.

He couldn't stop asking why. Why did he have to feel _that _sort of attraction to Cloud? Life would perfect, normal, if it wasn't for the one, forbidden secret between brothers.

There was a foamy, watermelon-scented lather in his hair now. The water was falling hot against the nape of his neck when through the steam and already distorted glass, Sora saw a flash of blonde. _No, no, no. _It couldn't be, but when Sora blinked and focused his vision, the image only became clearer. Sora was losing it, shaking all over. Cloud was there; Sora couldn't possibly get away and oh God, not in the shower.

How had his brother gotten in? Sora had been so foolish to trust the residential locks. They were to prevent people from accidentally walking in, not keep away people who wanted to gain entrance. Cloud could have picked it with penny.

How was Sora going to face his parents? His friends? Riku?

He had to stop it. Not caring about the soap suds in his hair, he pulled open the far shower door and stuck his head out, "Cloud! Get out!"

Cloud just looked over his shoulder and blinked, stepping out of his boxers, "Hey, Sora, calm down. You're going to wake Mom and Dad."

"I don't care! Get out now!" Sora was trying to sound forceful but it was coming out a whine and _no, no, no _Cloud was already naked. All that white skin. All those muscles. Sora hastened to look away as Cloud stood up to his full height.

"Look, Sora, you know I have to work early on Saturdays." Cloud's voice was as calm as reason itself. "I'm running late so I'm just going to jump in with you. I really don't see the problem. Are we brothers, or what?"

Sora groaned, eyes fixed on the tub surround, watching stray droplets of water run down it in paths. Cloud's speech was lulling his senses. What was the problem again? Oh yeah, the unnatural way his stomach kept jolting in response to his brother's body. But he could control that, couldn't he? It was his own fault… really… He couldn't make Cloud late for work…

_No, Sora! Get a hold of yourself! _Furiously shaking his head, he opened his mouth to tell his brother no once again—good lord, the blonde had really conditioned him, hadn't he?—but he was stopped when Cloud easily knocked him aside, albeit gently, and stepped into the shower. Sora's eyes immediately scanned over his fit body, taking in the full five feet, eight inches worth of lovely, lovely skin and muscle and… other things…

Face flushing with shame, Sora squeezed his eyes shut and turned his body back into the shower water. All he had to do was finish rinsing his hair out, then he could leave the shower and wait until Cloud was gone to come back in and finish it. That was all. Really.

Then Cloud uttered the words that he had feared hearing the most behind him. He said them in a low, reassuring voice, his fingertips coming to rest against Sora's shoulder.

"Calm down, Sora. It's okay."

_It's not okay! _his mind screamed at him even as he began to calm down, tension falling out of his body, his shaky hands reaching back into his hair to help get rid of the shampoo as the water streamed over it. Cloud's hand moved away, and Sora could hear him rustling around, grabbing for the shampoo bottle, the noises somehow sharp over the pounding of the water against the tile.

It was silent for a few moments, and then Sora felt the brush of a knee against the back of his thigh. He jumped, stifling a surprised yelp, but the touch was gone again as fast as it had come, and Cloud started lowly humming some tune in his throat. It gently echoed through the shower walls, but probably wouldn't make it past the hallway.

Feeling bitter with himself, Sora wished that his parents could sense the evil in this house and just wake up and _do _something about it when Sora was so afraid and couldn't.

To his horror, he found his hands already reaching for the conditioner, and he poured a decent amount of it into his hand before lifting it to his hair and stepping slightly out of the water so it didn't rinse away. Cloud took this opportunity to step forward instead, coming beneath the direct spray of the water, his elbow bumping against Sora's shoulder blade.

_God… _Sora thought, swallowing thickly, as his brother reached around him to put the bottle back in a new place than where he had gotten it from. In the process his arm slid across Sora's, and just that sensual slide of wet skin had his breath catching in his throat, his body tensing. _I should leave… But… I still have conditioner in my hair… _

The conditioner was even more difficult to rinse away, especially with Cloud claiming half of the water current for his own. The residue on Sora's hair was pure silk, but terribly insistent. Breathing shallowly, he raised his hands and ran his fingers with the water through his detangled locks, trying to hasten the rinsing process. Cloud was humming again, low and measured.

From Sora's current position, arched away from his brother's naked body, only his bangs were getting enough of the liquid stream. He closed his eyes and shoved his whole head into the shower, without realizing his mouth was still hanging open, trying to regulate his breathing. The anxious brunette swallowed a mouthful of water and felt the choking sensation somewhere in his throat. Sputtering pitifully, Sora's body doubled over and pitched towards the steam bedewed wall.

Before Sora could even collect himself, Cloud's hands were on his hips, cupping them, somehow swallowing them whole. Sora felt so small. Cloud, like always, wasn't going to give him a chance to recover on his own.

"Careful," Cloud muttered against the trembling boy's ear, hands rubbing pacifying circles on Sora's lower body. "You're okay, Sora. Just relax."

Sora shuddered. The water was still scalding hot, but ice was sinking down his stomach. Cloud had him now. Why the hell did it feel so good? Fingertips, his brother's fingertips, were grazing over the hollows of his hipbones from behind. The touch was so delicate that Sora almost couldn't tell where it ended and the spray of water began. So light and still it was more erotic than anything Sora had ever imagined. How did Cloud know he was sensitive there?

A spasm of desire leapt from Sora's groin, up his stomach and along his spine. _No, please. _His body was betraying him. _Jolt, jolt, jolt_. Cloud's frame was almost pressed against his back now and the image of its perfection was again running through Sora's mind. He tried to push the thought aside. He tried to control the rush of his blood, but Cloud seemed to have stolen his senses.

"No…"

Sora instantly regretted allowing the word to be spoken aloud. He looked down in defeat to see what he feared, and then something much worse. Cloud's long fingers curled around his erection, forming an elegant tunnel for Sora's pleasure. The brunette tore his gaze away, again terribly aware of how boyish he felt within his older brother's grasp. _This can't be happening. _What was Cloud doing? Why was he so damn hard? Why wasn't he running, screaming, anything?

"No," Sora moaned weakly for the second time, insides constricting.

That was the last word to escape his mouth. Cloud hadn't needed to tell him to be quiet. Sora knew he couldn't possibly make any of the noises he wanted to. All Sora and his brother could hear was pouring water, but anyone walking outside of bathroom, without the sound of the shower to fill their ears, would have happened upon something much more suggestive. Sora bit his lip, refusing to let a single, telling gasp out. He wouldn't moan his brother's name.

Cloud leaned forward, caging Sora with his body. One of his hands was braced against the shower wall, the other had begun to pump Sora's throbbing arousal.

Sora's teeth bit harder into his lip as his body gave a harsh shudder and he fell forward against the wall. His fingers reached up, grasping onto it, only to slip, and his next breath of air got caught somewhere in his lungs as Cloud's touches didn't relent, only quickened. The brunette's head fell back, his mouth opening in a silent cry, and he felt the base of his skull connect with Cloud's shoulder. Instead of pulling away, he let it rest there, body rigid, bowed forward, and he tried so damn hard not to push up into those touches. So damn hard…

A ragged gasp escaped him, and it quickly segued into a long sigh that he was ashamed of but couldn't help. If anything, this only seemed to encourage Cloud, and his fingers left his aching arousal momentarily before Sora's back was suddenly pressing against the cold wall. He jerked, hissing, but the sting of the chill faded quickly as Cloud pressed in close, his nose burying itself at Sora's temple, his fingers resuming their previous stroking.

Sora's hands flailed up, clenching onto his brother's biceps, one squeezing shut as he fought to keep the other open. His knee twitched, rose, pressed into Cloud's hip, and the blonde's free hand reached down, curling around his thigh, lifting it up and over his waist. Sora kept it there, afraid he'd fall without the added balance, before burying his face in Cloud's wet chest, wanting to scream, to cry, to moan, but he wouldn't let himself. _Couldn't_. Making more noises than he had already would be like… giving into something worse than he already had at this point.

"Shh, shh," Cloud soothed to his ear, and it was only then that Sora realized he was whimpering, the soft noises sounding over the patter of the shower water. He immediately snapped his mouth shut, feeling his face flush with shame and other things, fingers tightening in their grasp on Cloud.

Sora knew he was gripping too tightly; his nails had probably drawn blood, leaving a mark that Cloud would have to hide. He hated that thought; the knowledge that a symbol of what they were doing was going to remain, was going to see beyond the shower's four walls. But when Cloud stroked him harder, he only dug in deeper. As the last throes of ecstasy coursed through his body, Sora finally allowed himself to buck into his brother's hand, all sense of restraint streaming away with the steadily cooling water.

Slim hips rocked forward and Sora clung to Cloud as he came, thighs trembling with the intensity of his orgasm. His entire body was exhausted and wracked with guilt all at once. So much so that his legs gave away, and Cloud, with his hands under Sora's armpits, helped lower his spent younger brother to the floor.

Cloud didn't stick around too long after that. He finished washing his body off, leaving Sora slumped against the wall, but left the water on. Maybe because he thought Sora was going to have the energy to finish showering off, maybe because he somehow sensed that Sora was about to scrub his body raw in an effort to get rid of his brother's lingering touch. Whatever the case, he was done within a few minutes, drying off, pulling on clean clothes, and then striding out the door.

Sora squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the door click shut, deafening even with the water running. It was a long moment before he felt his heart slow to something normal, and he slid his eyes open, only to lower them to the water streaming down the shower drain. Spiraling away… slowly, ever so slowly…

He took a deep, shaky breath—released it.

And burst into sobs.


	2. His Unwanted Persistence

**Disclaimer: **We do not own _Kingdom Hearts_; it belongs to Square Enix. We are not making any money off this fanfiction. Yuka and Kenjii are © J. E. Jones and Mimi Bayne. To use them without permission is illegal and will be punished by law.

-o-o-

_**Nobody Needs to Know**_

**Chapter Two**

His Unwanted Persistence

-o-o-

Sora knew his mother was calling for him. Yuka was standing at the bottom of the stairs saying she had picked up dinner from his favorite Indian restaurant and that Cloud was already at the table, unknowingly making her son's stomach clench and turn over. The smell, those fragrant spices and that rich curry, was nearly as nauseating as the thought of facing Cloud had become. The notion of sitting down to supper with his oblivious parents and across from the brother who had touched him in such forbidden ways just that morning felt so terribly wrong.

His mom yelled again, more impatiently this time. She was probably wondering about what could be keeping him.

She had no idea. No clue that her youngest son was sick because he had tight-roped a line of lust and temptation with the eldest one. The thought would never cross her mind. Brothers just didn't do that, not her sons.

Clutching his stomach and swallowing hard, Sora stood and made his way to the kitchen. He could do this. It was just supper, and Cloud… Cloud wouldn't say anything, wouldn't try anything in front of their parents. He still felt incredibly self-conscious as he sat down, three sets of eyes on him, two concerned and Cloud's very intent. Sora looked away.

"Geeze, kid. We thought you were getting ready for a date up there," their father Kenjii joked, shoving a plate of marginally warm butter chicken at Sora, who winced but took it anyway.

Cloud laughed easily and cut in before Sora could answer, "Yeah, right. When's the last time Sora had a date?"

Sora blinked, then stared sullenly down at his plate, a little miffed at Cloud for sounding so completely normal, for giving him that brotherly tease as if nothing had happened between them. Shouldn't Cloud's speech have been a little more apologetic? Ashamed? Disgusted? Anything but as calm and unfazed as it was.

"Now, now," Kenjii scolded. "Sora has lots of time for that, don't you, son?"

Sora didn't answer, didn't eat, didn't look up. He willed the words to sink through Cloud's thick skull and some effect on his twisted thought process, but knew it was unlikely that Cloud would be bothered by them.

"Maybe if he'd stop sulking," Cloud said pointedly, earning a _tsk_ from his mother and compelling Sora to glare at him from behind drooping, cinnamon bangs.

"Maybe you should mind your own business," Sora snapped in return. The words seemed to come out of nowhere, but that rage, that shame had been burning in his heart all day, and he wasn't going to sit here and tolerate this from Cloud of all people. "It's not like you've exactly had a date, either."

"_Sora_!" Yuka gasped, aghast with her son. "Apologize to Cloud right now! He was just teasing!"

Sora opened his mouth to protest that he _wasn't _going to apologize, but Cloud beat him to it, his lips curling into an amused smile despite the layer of frost coating his eyes. "No, Mom, he's right. I haven't had a date, either, and I shouldn't pick on him like that."

Yuka hesitated, but then let it go with a nod, shooting one last glance at Sora and returning to her dinner. Distaste rose like bile in the back of Sora's throat, and he silently wished that he had apologized instead. Now Cloud looked like the goody-goody son their parents thought that he was. They would never _ever _believe that Cloud would do something like molest his younger brother in the shower, and the last threads of Sora's hope that he hadn't known he'd be hanging on to slid away.

Great.

"It was just a joke, Sora," Kenjii said after swallowing a mouthful of food. He peered at his son intently across the dinner table as Sora went back to pushing his own food around on his plate sulkily with his fork. "You shouldn't take things like that so personally. What have I told you about being sensitive?"

_I'm _not _being sensitive_, Sora inwardly seethed, but on the surface his shoulders just drooped and tears burned in his eyes. They were born from frustration, at the feelings eating away at his heart, exposing his tender soul, rendering it to mere shreds. It wasn't fair. And the situation was made worse because he _had _enjoyed it. He couldn't stop thinking about those slender fingers wrapped around him, playing against his skin, and his own whimpers of delight escaping into the steaming water pounding against the shower floor.

His fork stilled as his eyes glazed over a little. For a moment, just a moment, he forgot that Cloud was his brother, and what they had been doing in the shower was so infinitely wrong. Instead his mind focused on how good it had felt this morning being cradled protectively in strong arms, against a broad chest, warm skin stretched across it, a soft pillow for Sora's cheek as he clung on desperately.

Hmm…

Someone cleared his throat, and Sora looked up to find three pairs of eyes on him again. His face felt hot, and his father was eyeing him skeptically while his mother gave him a concerned look. Cloud, however… his eyes were practically smoldering from behind his blonde bangs.

"Sora, honey, do you have a fever?" Yuka asked, placing her hand against Sora's forehead before he had a chance to answer.

"I―No, it's just the food," Sora lied and pushed his mother's hand away, expression tight as a feeling of defeat sunk like deadweight into his stomach.

How could he have allowed himself to have such thoughts of his brother at the dinner table? Such filthy, wrong… comforting, arousing―… Oh, fuck. And Cloud knew. Cloud was almost disturbingly aware of what the flush on Sora's cheeks and the part in those full lips meant. He was silently encouraging the unspeakable fantasies. Cloud…

"But haven't touched your food, sweetie," Yuka's voice sounded very distant to Sora, but it still jarred into his thoughts.

Kenjii nodded, glancing supportively at his wife. "Your mother's right, Sora. You don't look very good. Maybe it would be best for you to go lie down."

Sora lowered his gaze in agreement and pushed his chair away from the table, silently berating himself for being so weak.

…Cloud was winning.

-o-o-

Sora stared dully out his bedroom window, wrapped comfortably in his covers, his mind racing as he tried to think of what he could possibly do to turn this situation around. Maybe he'd just go back to ignoring Cloud or something? But no, last time he had tried that it had only landed him in deeper trouble. Cloud had… _molested _him in the shower this morning, and despite how good it had felt—no. Sora couldn't afford for it to happen again. It would just be too much.

He briefly considered speaking to a priest. Venting out all of his problems to the Father. But no. That wouldn't work, either. He'd just be told that he was going to hell or some such. Right? Well, he didn't want to try and find out the hard way, and it would be suspicious if he asked anyone about what happened when you told a priest you had committed incest.

Incest. The word made his stomach roll uncomfortably, more so than it already had been throughout the course of the day. That's really, _truly _what this was, wasn't it? Incest…

"Incest," he said, breathing the word, ignoring the odd jerk in his heart it created. _Shit… _

Abruptly there was the sound of his doorknob giving a _snick _noise, and he sat up partially in bed to see a shadow moving into his room, his feet soft against the carpet. Sora instinctively knew who it was without having to see him in the darkness; he'd recognize that outline of spiky hair and trim body anywhere. Even blindfolded. Maybe.

"Cloud, what—"

Cloud was standing over his bed, leaning down with one hand on Sora's blanketed shoulder, gripping strongly enough to stay the boy's instinct to sit up. Through the dim light Sora could make out that familiar, calm expression on his brother's face, silently trying to give peace to his own thoughts. _It's okay. I won't hurt you. When have I ever hurt you? _

"Feeling better?" Cloud's voice was gentle concern to the untrained ear, but Sora caught its slight, impatient edge. The ulterior motives.

He grimaced and rolled out of Cloud's grasp, ignoring the unreadable look in those eyes as it flickered across them. Sitting up and pulling his comforter to his chin, Sora stared at Cloud apprehensively, beginning to resent the blonde all over again. This was his room. Cloud hadn't even asked permission. After everything that had happened, didn't he deserve some time and space to think? Not that he needed to think about it. This—the way Cloud was watching him, sitting on the edge of his bed, knowing what had occurred in the shower—was wrong. Incest was wrong.

"What are you doing here? I didn't let you in."

Cloud's lips looked like they were fighting not to smirk, twitching at the corners. He seemed to finally win control over his expression, and he sighed and spoke in a whisper, "You left your door open, Sora."

"I… " Sora stammered, his blood suddenly running cold. "That doesn't mean… "

"We should talk about this, don't you think?" Cloud asked, palm pressing into Sora's mattress, fingers splayed and slender.

Sora swallowed, "Talk about what?"

Wrong question. So horribly wrong. Suddenly that hand was crawling up his thigh, somehow scalding his flesh through the blanket as Cloud leaned closer, hot breath playing over Sora's ear, inciting small shivers. Oh yeah, that. The effect Cloud had on him. The obvious feelings his older brother harbored for him. What they had done in the shower.

"You know what I mean, Sora… "

Sora jerked his thigh up, trying to get away from Cloud's persistent touch, but that only brought the blonde's fingers closer to his groin, which was stirring into life one stroke of Cloud's fingers at a time. He swallowed hard, stilling despite his mind's screams not to, a harsh shudder working through him this time as Cloud's fingers settled comfortably over the telling bulge against his comforter.

Lips quirking up further—Sora could feel them so clearly against his ear as they moved—Cloud breathed, "Well?"

Sora was afraid—and hopeful, which was horrifying—that his brother's fingers were going to start again, doing what they had done this morning in the shower, but they remained still, as if Cloud really was going to wait until Sora told him his answer. He drew in a sharp breath, but it wasn't as calming as he would have liked, and he had to lower his head as his brother's face suddenly neared his, lips dangerously close.

"Stop," he whispered hoarsely.

Cloud removed his hand, but now his voice was an irritated hiss, and beneath that there was hurt. "What is your problem? You wanted it. You came in my hand. You're practically ready to come now. Stop being so stubborn—at least admit you want this."

Sora stared in disbelief, body so tense it trembled, and he wrapped his arms around himself tightly, determined to ignore the dull ache between his legs. Cloud wasn't ashamed of what they had done at all. If anything, he was upset at Sora for not being more willing, more grateful to Cloud for having given him such a pleasurable release. _You came in my hand. _Sora wanted to vomit all over again, but that would make it too easy for Cloud to comfort him like the loving older brother he claimed to be. Always so attentive to Sora's needs.

"How can you say things like that?" Sora seethed, set on conveying resolve over the razor edge of fear that had been with him all day. "We're _brothers. _What happened this morning was wrong."

Something daring, almost reckless, quivered in Cloud's voice when he spoke, "But you liked it. I liked it. We won't tell anyone, Sora. Nobody needs to know."

"I―I didn't want it, though. You didn't give me a chance to think. You've never let me make my own decisions."

"That's not―"

"Yes," Sora cut in quickly. "Yes, it _is_ true. You're doing it right now. I told you, it's wrong. I just want to forget it ever happened."

Cloud frowned, blue eyes lowered, something dismal ebbing in them as they stared down at the sheets. Sora watched, pity tightening in his chest as he watched the blonde. He hadn't meant to hurt his older brother. He just wanted Cloud to accept that what they had done could never happen again. Why did that have to be such a cruel thing?

"You must have felt something… " Cloud's words came quietly after a long pause.

Sora sighed, stance softening just a bit at the confusion in the blonde's voice. "Cloud, this is a nightmare. Can't you see where it could lead?"

"You haven't answered the question," his brother replied, and a bit of that incensed tone from earlier was back, leaving Sora to wonder if he had ever really been sad at all. "Did you feel _anything_?"

"It doesn't matter if I did or not!" Sora snapped, trying to stop the swell of nausea rising again through his body. God. He really just wanted to forget the whole thing. Why couldn't Cloud accept that? This wasn't right! "How can you honestly want to carry through with this?"

Cloud was suddenly in his space again, his hand snapping forward and grasping onto Sora's shoulder before the smaller boy could think to get away. Cloud pressed a knee into the mattress, lifting himself, pinning his younger brother down against the bed before shifting his other hand up, grasping a handful of cinnamon brown locks, holding Sora's head against the bed.

Terrified, Sora raised his hands to Cloud's chest to try and shove him off, but Cloud didn't budge, his breath coming in a ragged exhale through his nose as he spoke next, "Fine. You just haven't had enough time to admit this to yourself. But if you really hadn't wanted it, Sora, you could have screamed bloody murder and told our parents what happened. But you _didn't_."

He let those words sink in before he abruptly climbed off Sora, motions stiff and yet somehow quick as he exited the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Fear sinking its claws into his heart, Sora fought back another round of tears and burrowed himself back into his blankets, pulling them over his shoulders this time. He clenched his eyes shut, tried to stop the awful pounding of his heart, but nothing he tried could make those horrid words go away. They clung to him like a second skin, whispering at the back of his mind, taunting.

Cloud was right.

-o-o-

The next day, Sora really just wanted some normalcy, and Riku―Riku with his good grades, pretty girlfriend, and easy charm―was the epitome of everything right, expected, and natural. Riku wouldn't touch him in such depraved ways. Wouldn't stare at him so sharply, scrutinizing every inch of his body until he felt naked—and maybe, in Cloud's mind, he was.

No, Riku was just what he needed to get his mind off Cloud and prove to himself that he wasn't as far gone as he was beginning to feel. He was just a seventeen-year-old boy who was going to play video games with his friend. Nothing improper had ever been shared between brothers, and Sora hadn't lain awake all night thinking of Cloud—purely terrified and somehow still so confused. He wasn't really tempted by Cloud's seductions, was he?

If he was honest, he was exhausted now. Dark circles and messy hair made for a rather unbecoming look that he hoped wasn't noticeable as he forced his widest smile for Riku.

"Hey. Thanks for coming."

Riku pulled a bit of a face at the uncommon politeness. Not that Sora was ever rude, just―_Thanks for coming_?Sora must have been really bored.

"Uh, no problem, Sora. You're kind of the only one of us who has the new _Last Fantasy _game," Riku replied, sinking down on the couch beside Sora and picking up the first controller. "Although how'd you get it? Allowance? We're all broke."

"Cloud kind of bought it for me when it came out," Sora replied, and he was unable to stop from cringing at the name of his brother. Or at the knowledge that Cloud had actually went and got him something, and then just a few short days later… Was he trying to buy Sora's love? But despite how angry he was at his brother, and at this situation, he doubted it. Cloud had always given things to his brother, be it new or old, and there didn't seem to be any bad intention behind it.

"That was nice of him," his friend commented, then settled back into the cushions to enjoy a nice few hours of gaming now that Sora was letting him take control of his console. But something was nagging at the back of his mind, reminding him of the other day. "Hey, Sora?"

"Yeah?" Sora hummed, already sprawled out on the other end of the couch, shoving his feet onto Riku's lap and pulling a pillow over his face.

Riku pinched his leg, but let his feet stay there, and it was another moment before he got up the courage to ask, "…Have you noticed that…" He paused, thinking carefully on how he wanted to word this. Sora was very defensive about his brother, and he didn't want to upset his younger friend. "…Cloud seems a bit—off lately?"

Sora paled; he felt his head spin, and he cautiously lowered the pillow, not quite wanting to look Riku in the eyes but needing to see the other boy's expression. He was surprised to find that Riku appeared almost as wary as he did, that feeling of uncertainty obviously mixed with genuine concern for Sora. Why did it make the brunette feel guilty? Maybe because what they had done―all the reasons why Cloud seemed _off _and Riku had to worry―was so endlessly wrong.

"What?" Sora finally asked, his voice weak and strangely high to his own ears. "What makes you say that?"

Riku crinkled his brow uneasily, "I don't know… Just―ever since we went shopping that time he seems different. He used to hang out with the two of us when I came over. Now he kind of just… watches."

"Well, geeze, Riku," Sora laughed nervously. "He's in university now. He's got way too much other stuff to do."

"It's not just him, Sora. You…" Riku paused, searching for the most delicate wording. "You always look tired lately. If there's something going on in your family, you know you can tell me…"

Sora's heart stopped for that split second of terror before he managed to remind himself that Riku wasn't getting at anything untoward. No, not that. That's not what Riku meant at all. Riku would never suspect anything incestuous between his friend and the older brother who always seemed so normal. His thoughts wouldn't turn there in a million years because that sort of stuff just didn't happen to people like Cloud and Sora.

"It's really nothing, Riku," Sora assured his companion, sitting up and grabbing the controller from Riku's lap. "And I think you died. It's my turn."

"Hey, I don't die until it says Game Over!" Riku huffed, forgetting the conversation for a moment and snatching the controller back, earning a yelp from the brunette boy. "See? I'm still alive!"

"Oh, but you're going to die, anyway!" Sora returned, leaning over Riku to try and grab for the controller again, but his friend just leaned out of the way, holding it over his head and off to the side. Huffing, Sora climbed up on top of him to grab the controller, leaving Riku's face to get buried in his abdomen and the boy to flail, beating at Sora's hips.

"Gerroff!" he cried, voice muffled.

"No, give me the controller!" Sora was already trying to pry Riku's fingertips from the black device, but he had such a stubborn grip that it was just downright frustrating. He growled, beating at a pale forearm with his other fist, only to nearly scream as Riku's teeth suddenly bit into his stomach. "OW!"

But Riku's teeth didn't relent—they just kept digging in, digging in, making the pain flare worse, and in retaliation Sora kept beating at his arm, and yet it didn't seem to be doing a damn bit of good, and if Riku didn't stop soon he wasn't going to be able to get the controller back, and—

"What are you two doing?" asked a sudden voice that pierced smoothly through Sora's yells of outrage, making the brunette release Riku as he gasped, his entire frame freezing against his friend. It was Cloud, and he was just at the end of the couch, hand resting delicately on the cushion, his other planted on his hip.

Riku frowned, letting go of the piece of skin in his mouth, wondering why Sora had just tensed up.

Sora alternated an anxious glance between Riku and his brother, very aware of how terribly wrong the scene could unfold if he didn't do something. He had to assuage Riku's concerns and prove to the silver-haired teen that there was nothing wrong with Cloud, their family, or himself. They had a perfectly natural relationship.

"Cloud!" Sora cried, forcing his most puerile tone, imitating the way a younger brother would whine at an elder one. "Tell Riku to me give the controller. It's my game."

Cloud laughed, playing into the act, moving behind Sora and ruffling that familiar spiky hair like he had done so many times before, as if nothing had ever changed. Still chuckling, he said, "You two really like the game, huh?"

"Yeah, it's great… When Riku lets me play," Sora pouted, shooting a half-serious glare at the boy beside him, who started to protest, but was interrupted by Cloud before he got the chance.

"Well you did invite him over to play it."

"Yeah, Sora," Riku jumped in, his liking for Cloud returning almost instantly. "You can play it any old time."

Sora might have argued, but under the circumstances he was only too happy to acquiesce and return to watching Riku play. Cloud lingered, occasionally commenting on Riku's technique, words that sounded hollow only to Sora, who sensed that Cloud was smart enough to appease Riku and encourage the boy's mind to wander for the moment.

When Riku was lost in the game, thumbs pumping the controller in furious desperation, Sora leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, trying to recover the rest he'd lost earlier. He'd forgotten, though, that Cloud hadn't left the room and was still standing behind the sofa. He started, then froze as he felt a hand crawling down his arm, the touch almost soothing, nearly lulling him into a peaceful rest, but it was his brother's and Riku was right there and what the hell did Cloud think he was doing? Sora couldn't move.

Cloud slowly leaned low and whispered just as carefully, "You look exhausted, Sora. You don't have to fight this, you know."

Sora jerked, startled, and in the process earned a confused look from Riku, who had sensed the movement. Trying to give him a reassuring look, Sora got to his feet, pulling away from Cloud's hand and saying loudly, "I'm thirsty! I'll get us some drinks. Riku, you want a Coke?"

"Er… sure," his friend replied, a bit hesitant, his eyes not once leaving Sora, even as the boy walked out of the living room. It left the boy's older brother and Riku alone, and Cloud took this time to lean over the back of the couch towards Riku instead, his blue eyes glittering like chips of ice. Something equally cold clenched at Riku's abdomen, and he swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, unsure of what he had done to deserve that look.

"If you do anything again to make Sora unhappy, I'll make sure that _you're _worse off," Cloud hissed, and Riku could tell that it was a promise and not a threat. He was about to open his mouth to respond when Cloud took his leave, heading upstairs to his room, leaving Riku to slump back in the seat, dumbfounded. Cloud had been fine just a moment ago—so what had happened to change that? Had it all been an act?

The controller thing had just been a joke. If anything, Sora _deserved _to be bitten, because he had started beating on Riku first, not to mention he had crawled all over him with a complete disregard to where his elbows were bumping into. (Like Riku's face, for instance). So why would Cloud get that defensive over something that friends squabbled about all the time?

It was some moments before Sora returned, and when he did there was a lighter bounce to his step as he handed Riku a Coke. Riku noticed that those blue eyes kept flitting across the living room, as if wondering where his brother had gone, but he didn't voice his thoughts and instead smiled at Riku, clutching his own soda tightly in his hands.

"I'm glad that you're my friend, Ri."

"Oh," Riku said faintly, blinking, taken aback by the honesty in Sora's words. He couldn't help but give a smile back at that despite Cloud's earlier words still ringing in his head, and he nodded, popping open his soda can with a _hiish_ of carbon. "You're my friend, too, Sora."

"Good," Sora replied, his eyes going distant and staring past Riku. "Good."

-o-o-

"And I can't believe this history project. Who has time to―Sora you're not listening."

"Huh? Sorry, Riku," Sora apologized distractedly, offering a weak smile as he dug around in his backpack. Straining to reach the bottom through binders and paper, he let out whimper and managed to grasp a cell phone, one that was vibrating imploringly. A frown broke across his lips as Sora read the name on the caller id screen. _Shit, Cloud…_"I have to take this. I'll be right back."

Still silently cursing, Sora flipped the phone open, but didn't say anything until he was safely beyond the range of Riku's hearing. Even when he was, he held the phone to his ear and listened to the static, not quite wanting to talk to Cloud just yet. It saddened him a bit. He used to look forward to Cloud's calls because they usually meant a ride home from school or a late lunch of fast food and ice cream. Now, though, he had to wonder just what Cloud meant by calling him and hope that Riku wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Sora?" Cloud's voice came over the receiver and Sora winced, wondering why he hadn't just spoken up sooner, rather than waiting for that almost desperate tone.

"Yeah."

Cloud sighed quietly at the reluctance in Sora's voice, and though he sounded a little discouraged, he continued, "I need a favor. I left my English essay at home and it's due in an hour. You got off early today, right?"

"Yeah," Sora groaned. "But I'm going over to Riku's so I don't know what you want me to do about it."

"Sora, you're closer to home than I am. If I don't hand it in on time, I lose twenty percent," Cloud explained, genuinely worried. "I need you to bring it to me."

Features still set in an uneasy cringe, Sora looked over at Riku and then back at the ground, wondering how he was going to get out of this. "Cloud, I―I really can't. And please don't call me like this."

"Not everything is about you, Sora," Cloud's speech unexpectedly exploded over the phone. "I'm not calling you because…" Sora, who suddenly felt very much like crying, waited as Cloud took a deep breath and then slowly let it out. "Look, I just need a favor, Sora. It doesn't make sense for me to go all the way home, when you're a couple blocks away."

"Well, it's mighty important to just be forgetting about it like that," Sora said, unable to keep the tears from his voice. He wasn't used to Cloud yelling at him, and he couldn't remember the last time the blonde had even raised his voice towards him. Sure, he had been impatient over the last couple of days, but he had at least _tried _to be nice to Sora. It honestly hurt that he was being reprimanded. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how much he depended on Cloud's opinion of him.

Cloud must have heard Sora's tone, because he said softly, "I make mistakes, Sora… I know you're upset with me about what happened, but I wouldn't lie to you about this. I _really _need that paper. It hurts me that you don't trust me."

_You lost my trust when you manipulated me like you did. _But was that really fair? Cloud certainly hadn't done all the work. Sora hadn't exactly pushed him away in the shower…

Biting his bottom lip, Sora agreed to run the errand, and when he hung up the phone and shuffled back to Riku, his friend was eyeing him a bit suspiciously.

"You look upset. Are you okay?" His green eyes flitted over Sora's face, scrutinizing, checking for any signs of a lie as Sora shook his head and stuffed his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. "Sora…"

"I'm fine," Sora reassured him. "I've got to go home for a minute and get something."

"But we just left…" Riku started to protest.

"I know. Look, can I talk to you later? Unless you want to take the bus with me to Cloud's university," and Sora was desperately hoping that he did, but he couldn't force Riku to go with him, "then I won't see you for a bit."

Riku tilted his head, lips pursed in thought, before he dragged his fingers through his hair and pulled out his cell phone. "I'll walk with you back home and wait with you for the bus, but I think we better hurry if you want to get on it in time."

"Calling Kairi to spend time with her?" Sora wasn't quite able to keep the wounded tone from his voice.

"I'm sorry, Sora, Cloud just—makes me feel uncomfortable." Riku averted his gaze, the subject obviously awkward for him, and he shrugged his pack further up on his shoulder. "Let's just go. The next bus comes in like ten minutes. Ready to run?"

Sora blinked at Riku as the boy turned, holding out his hand to him palm-up, the wind blowing his silver hair around his face, the locks catching the sunlight shining from up above. For a moment, he was overcome with too many emotions to pick apart and describe properly, so he just let them filter through his heart, and then, when Riku eyed him impatiently, the serene image broken, he reached forward and clasped their hands together.

"Yeah, let's do it."

-o-o-

With Cloud's paper now tucked carefully amidst the otherwise disorganized clutter of his book bag, Sora held up his bus pass and boarded the city's transit system. He pushed down the aisle, just wanting to get to the back, away from the bored stare of strangers. His own eyes were set out the window, beyond glass past which homes had begun to roll by as the bus lurched forward.

He didn't have too far to go, just out of the residential neighborhood, down a main street and he would nearly be at the campus. It really did make more sense for him to bring Cloud the assignment, but knowing this didn't make Sora any less resentful. He wanted to help his brother. He really did. It was just… Nothing felt the same anymore. And Sora had to admit that maybe it was this that was getting to him the most.

He thought, as he took a seat and hung his head, of how important his relationship with Cloud had been to him when he was younger―even up until a week ago. They had shared their childhood in parks and spent much of their teenage years surrounded by mutual friends. He hated that their bond had changed.

As Sora let out a rush of breath, the bus stopped rather abruptly, jerking his body forward. Grumbling to himself, Sora sat straighter and fell into the trap of looking up to see who was boarding the bus, eyes settling over the build of a tall brunette in well cut jeans and a white, jacket-covered tee. Though his face was half-hidden by chunks of thick chestnut, Sora saw that those features were beautifully pointed, delicate and strong all at once.

Now he was staring unashamedly, following the man's movements as he took a seat cross the aisle from him. It wasn't just those good looks and the fit of his clothes that had Sora so immediately interested. It was that the stranger was so unlike anyone Sora had ever known―so unlike his brother―and it was completely enticing.

_Maybe I really do like older guys_, he thought, pressing his teeth into his lower lip and shifting his bag up into his lap as someone shoved himself into the seat beside him. Normally he was bothered by the close proximity of other passengers, preferring to sit holed up against a window by himself, but at the moment he didn't really care. How could he, when he was so distracted by what was across from him?

The man abruptly looked up, and blue eyes clashed with the purest gray Sora had ever seen. It looked like those clouds scudding overhead on an overcast day, filled with rain but not quite enough to spill it onto the earth far below. It made his breath catch in his throat, and he jerked back into his seat, clutching his book bag possessively to his chest. He wasn't sure why he was acting like he was afraid, because he wasn't. He was just… embarrassed, maybe.

Sora tried to look away, but the man was slowly raising an eyebrow, and the bus rocked as it took off, leaving people clutching to the overhead hangings because the majority of the seats were taken. There was enough space within a few people, however, to get a clear view of the man's face, and in return he got a plentiful chance to look at Sora, too, except that that raised brow probably meant he wasn't too amused.

Clearing his throat and forcing on a weak smile, Sora raised a hand in a little gesture of hello, and then promptly forced himself to avert his gaze this time.

_Great. Older guys apparently don't like me. _

It was less than a second before Sora realized that this wasn't true, not really, not considering how strongly Cloud felt about him. Sometimes, when they were at home, he still felt his brother's eyes on him, painfully aware of what was behind that intent stare as Cloud's sharp blue eyes roamed his body and he quivered. It made him feel almost unbearably dirty, to the point where he vainly rubbed his forearm though he knew he'd never brush the guilt off, and yet, there was always something perversely pleasurable about knowing that someone was admiring _his_ body in that way.

_Shit…_Sora pressed his head against glass, cheeks flaming hotly enough to make him worry that somehow everyone around him must have known what he was thinking. He was so obvious. That blush and the frustrated, poorly repressed tears brimming on his lower eyelids spoke volumes, even if he would never, could never say all that was on his mind.

How could he have let his thoughts crawl there, down to those incredibly base urges, when he was in public? What would all these people—that brunette man who had so effortlessly captured his attention, who probably had more self-control in his little finger than Sora had in his entire body—what would they think? How differently would they look at him knowing that sometimes, he really wanted all the lustful attention that his brother could offer—every bit of it?

Others groaned and yelped, but Sora was almost glad that the driver stopped suddenly enough to jolt him from his seat and off of that sordid train of thought. Dazedly, he looked around to see the majority of the people exiting the bus and realized that they must already be at the university. He stole a glance at his watch as he stood, moving with a little more urgency when he noticed that he only had fifteen minutes until Cloud's class started.

Of course, Sora should have been watching where he was going as he moved into the aisle of a still half-full bus. Head down, he walked right into a firm chest, experiencing a collision that sent him stumbling back into the nearest seat.

"Oh—er… are you okay?"

As he managed to scramble back into a proper position—his legs had been sprawled all over the middle of the aisle—Sora glanced up at the sound of the deep, dark voice. He stifled a gasp as he met those powerful gray eyes. The owner of them frowning, his hand grasping onto a hand-hold as he fought to steady himself, as well. When Sora said nothing, merely continued staring, the man sighed and shook his head.

"…I've got to go. You should really watch where you're going."

"W-Wait!" Sora sputtered out, quickly getting to his feet as his hand shot forward and grasped onto the man's elbow. He couldn't believe how much he had embarrassed himself already, and he didn't even know this guy's name! "I'm sorry. I have to get off at this stop, too. I'm just in a hurry—and I didn't mean to bump into you…" He realized he was rambling, but he couldn't seem to stop, because the man's glare right then was so intimidating that it was becoming increasingly harder to breathe.

The other brunette held up a hand, gently shaking Sora's off his elbow in the process. "Look—it's okay."

"Are you getting on or off?" the bus driver snapped from his seat, casting them a baleful glance in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah," Sora squeaked, and then hastily began to follow the man off the bus and into the bright sunlight. His companion didn't stop, already striding forward across the green lawn to a building directly ahead of them, and Sora wished he could have followed but he had to make it to Cloud's class. Or else his brother would kill him, not that failing to get his paper on time was anything close to what Sora had experienced.

Sucking in a breath and silently congratulating himself for making a _wonderful _first impression, he whirled and took off a dead-set run, cursing his dismal life. Would things ever begin to look up?

-o-o-

Sora found his brother reading outside of the cafeteria, Cloud's perfect blue eyes lowered at print-strewn pages, cell phone lying out beside his lap, as if he was expecting Sora to call and say that he wouldn't able make to it. Somewhere in the pit of his stomach, Sora felt an awful combination of guilt and pity. While other students were talking, flirting, and rushing to class, Cloud was sitting alone.

The blonde had never known many friends, but it hadn't seemed to matter so much until his own brother had begun to avoid him. Sora was beginning to think he'd have to be more supportive from now on. Nobody else knew what it was like for Cloud—nobody but him, and however twisted it was, maybe that meant they had to get through it all together rather than apart.

"Hey," Sora greeted his brother carefully, holding out Cloud's essay.

Cloud looked up from his book and sighed in relief. "Thanks, Sora. I'm sorry I ruined your afternoon for this stupid paper."

"That's okay," Sora answered slowly, vaguely tempted to suggest that he might wait for Cloud's class to end so they could talk after, but found himself unable to go through with the notion. What would they even do? Besides, it felt awkward being alone with Cloud now, despite his resolution to not abandon his brother completely. What if something like… the shower incident… happened again?

He got warm all over again just thinking about it, so he opted to look away, sticking his hands in his pockets and pursing his lips. Beside him Cloud began to gather his things, and when he was finished he touched Sora's shoulder, murmuring, "Hey, want to go to Starbucks after this? I know how much you love frappucinos."

And he did. Hesitating, Sora bit his bottom lip, then carefully glanced up at his brother through his bangs before murmuring, "…Well… okay…" There would be a lot of people at Starbucks in an hour's time, right?

Cloud ruffled his hair, something his younger brother still found himself closing his eyes at. Sora couldn't dismiss those affectionate touches so easily; they had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. Maybe the blonde didn't mean them as innocently as Sora had always thought, but it couldn't hurt to not brush that warm hand away.

When he opened his eyes again as Cloud finally pulled away, he saw a faint smile on his brother's face.

"Where do you want to meet?"

Sora blinked, thinking. "I guess here…"

"Do you still remember my log-in name and password so you can get on the computers?" Cloud shrugged his back pack over his shoulder, beginning to turn and leave, casting an uneasy glance at the clock on the far wall. It was apparent that he was going to be a few minutes late, but at least he had the paper now, right?

"Uh, yeah, I think so," Sora answered, offering Cloud the most certain smile he could manage. "I guess I'll go to the Arts lab…"

"Okay, Sora. I'll see you after."

Sora sighed raggedly as he watched Cloud head off for his lecture, not sure what to think of what had just happened. Was he losing his resolve, or doing what was best for his brother? Cloud seemed relieved about more than just the paper. That was good, wasn't it?

He couldn't help feeling guilty all over again as he entered the computer lab and typed in the password his brother had trusted him with. He really had been so lucky to have a close relationship with his older brother. How many other high school students had access to the university's computer system? Sora doubted very many did.

Still, he stared blankly at the screen, occasionally flicking his eyes down towards the time in the corner, thinking an hour had probably never gone by quite this slowly before. His head was beginning to pound and he just wanted to get this over with. He just wanted to do whatever was right for him and his brother both.

-o-o-

"Did they raise the prices?" Sora asked, aware that he was whining as he looked up at the menu board, but he couldn't help it. No matter what, being around his older brother could still bring out the childish side of him, especially when frappucinos were nearly five bucks.

Cloud looked vaguely amused, "Hey, Sora, don't worry. I invited you here, I'm buying."

"No. I've got it," Sora insisted, almost under his breath. He didn't need Cloud paying for him, he decided, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, only to feel Cloud grab his wrist before he could find the money.

"Really, Sora. You saved me with that paper. Let me get this. What kind do you want?"

At feeling such a firm grip on his arm, Sora froze, mentally whimpering at the entire situation. Was this always going to happen? Would things seem normal, only to dissolve into anything but when Cloud touched him with too much intensity? And would Sora ever stop flashing back to the shower, somehow terrified that everyone around them knew what they'd done? He really just wanted to forget, but Cloud unfailingly found ways, purposeful or not, to jolt his memory.

Sora didn't know what was worse, letting Cloud pay for him again, or continuing this couple-like argument in front of everyone in line. He looked up, fixing his brother a determined glare, pulling his wrist away, only to find Cloud's grasp tightening.

"Let me go, Cloud," he demanded as firmly as possible, given that he felt like he was dangling from the edge of a cliff with so many people around to watch him fall.

His older brother merely smirked, however, already slipping his debit card to the cashier, and when Sora saw this he barely managed to suppress an outraged sound. Cloud let him go, and he rubbed at his wrist, not seeing the frown this motion received because he was too busy sulking, glaring at the basket behind the register with cute little assortments of biscotti in it.

"Don't be such a baby," Cloud murmured, slipping his own wallet back into his pocket. Before Sora could come up with a retort for that, he added, "You paid for me last time, and anyway, like I said, it's a favor for a favor." His blue eyes shifted down to Sora's, an eyebrow raising in amusement as the faint smile he had had on his face since Sora had arrived spread into something closer to a smirk. "Okay?"

"Fine," the petite brunette grumbled, folding his arms and walking down the length of the front counter to where they'd hand him his coffee. "But I think you ought to know that—"

"You're grateful?" Cloud interrupted with a light laugh, his hand coming to rest atop Sora's shoulder, fingers gently squeezing. Sora sucked in a soft breath, turning his face away so that his brother couldn't see it, a shiver working its way down his spine. Heat pooled in the bottom of his stomach, and he felt shame wash over him.

"Y-Yeah…" Sora stuttered out, clenching his eyes shut, knowing his face was a bright shade of red. God. Why did this have to be so difficult?

Cloud caught that deep blush and, to Sora's surprise, granted him the mercy that came with removing his hand and going to grab their drinks instead. Sora cautiously opened his eyes, watching Cloud thank the barista, wishing he could be that calm about everything.

"Here," Cloud said, a small, reassuring smile still tugging out the corners of his lips.

Sora wrapped both hands around the drink, wanting to press the icy cup to his temple—his headache was back—but suppressing the desire until they were away from the front counter. Somehow they managed to find a spot in the corner, two plush chairs on either side of a round table. Sora sunk into one of those seats, neck rolled back, the bottom of his cup resting coolly against the top of his head.

"Cloud… I hate this," he confessed. "I feel like everyone's staring at me, like they know what happened."

"I haven't told anyone. I won't, Sora," Cloud promised vehemently, leaning in close, but knowing to keep enough distance to avoid startling the younger boy.

"I know, but…" Sora paused, squinting at the cold even as he pulled the frappucino away from his overheated skin. "You're so calm about it, and I'm a mess. Look at me."

Cloud sighed, and for once there was something apologetic in it. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you for, do you, Sora?"

Sora hesitated again, taking a sip out of his drink, letting the cold ice soothe down his throat. He thought about his brother's question for a moment, not sure if he wanted to discuss it, especially right now. But a quick glance around the shop revealed that he didn't recognize anyone that they knew, so even if someone _did _overhear, it would at least sound like they were just any other couple.

He knew deep down, however, that it was because he had a burning curiosity to know now that Cloud had brought it up.

"…No…" he said after a long moment, shifting his gaze to the surface of their table. He hadn't even known Cloud thought of him that way until the other day—how could he know when it had all started?

"Well…" Cloud pursed his lips, then sighed and tilted his head back, letting his eyes slip closed. "…It's been a while," he said, not really elaborating until he seemed to sense Sora's intent gaze. "A few years."

Oh… Then Cloud had had some practice with covering up his feelings, huh? And back then, when Sora was just going through puberty and didn't really understand a lot of the workings of the mind or the body, he wouldn't have noticed such things. Cloud could have taken advantage of him, too, but he hadn't. So why _now_?

_Maybe he finally snapped… _Sora thought, trying not to understand what the implications of that meant. It was embarrassing enough to know that his brother had harbored feelings for him for years now and he had been completely oblivious to them. Was that cruelty? Even if it was, at least he had been sheltered until he could handle it. _Not that I'm dealing with it well right now… _

"I didn't know," Sora admitted weakly, toying aimlessly with his straw, just seeking anything that meant he could avoid Cloud's eyes.

"Yeah… Well, I didn't really want you to."

"…Oh…" That sound was all Sora could get out. He was breathing very slowly, eyes narrowed as he continued to turn the revelations over in his mind. All through high school, when Cloud had seemed like the perfect old brother, he'd been hiding something like that. Sora couldn't fight off a visible shudder.

"Are you cold?" Cloud asked, already moving to slip off his own jacket and offer it to Sora.

"No. No, I'm fine. It's just the drink."

"Okay… I know how you feel, Sora…" Cloud continued in low tones. "It wasn't easy, but sometimes you'd look at me like there was something between us, and I didn't care."

"But…" Sora stopped, flinching slightly, knowing what he was about to say would hurt his older brother. "I care, okay, Cloud? I need to try to forget, and you should too. What happened wasn't right."

Cloud gave him what might have been the coldest glare yet, eyes ice-blue shards and smoldering embers all at once. Sora turned his head to the side, closing his own eyes against a familiar prick at their surface as he found himself on the verge of tears again. Somehow he had thought that Cloud would understand, but maybe he was just fooling himself. _"A few years." _That was a long time, a lot of waiting, wanting, longing…

Then suddenly Cloud had gotten what he had wanted; in the shower, Sora had been his—Cloud had had a taste of him, and Sora should have known he wouldn't give it up so easily.

"It felt right," Cloud said through gritted teeth. "No one's ever made you feel like that, have they, Sora?"

Sora shot his own frustrated glare across the table, this one laced with a bit of disbelief. "Are you crazy? I'm not talking about that here."

"Well, why not?" Cloud insisted, planting his palm against the table as he leaned over it, brows pulling into a frustrated line over his nose. "You won't talk to me at home about it!" Though his voice was heated with his anger, he was careful to keep it down enough to where they wouldn't draw attention. Sora still felt like everyone and their dog could hear him, though, and suddenly the place was stifling, and he wanted nothing more than to get out of there, the five dollar coffee be damned.

"Cloud…" he pleaded. "There's nothing to talk about—it's _wrong_."

"If something like that can feel so good, then how can it be wrong?" Cloud's expression was steadily growing ugly. He wasn't going to let this go.

Sora got to his feet, leaning his own weight across the table so only his brother could hear his next hissed words, "That's a twisted philosophy, Cloud, and you know it. Why else would it be illegal here? Because it's bad!"

"It's not like we can conceive children!" the blonde pressed, heedless of Sora's words, and his fingers snatched out, gripping a hold of the brunette's wrist again. "So what's the big deal? We're not putting anyone in danger."

"That's not the point!" Sora didn't even try wrestling his hand away yet; his brother's grip was already firm enough that if it tightened anymore there were sure to be bruises left on his skin. "Please, just stop!"

Cloud kept up the incensed glare, not relinquishing his brother's wrist until Sora whimpered and looked helplessly around the restaurant, silently imploring Cloud to notice the eyes that were now watching them. With an irritated grunt, Cloud shoved Sora's hand aside and stood to leave.

"Come on, then."

At the harshness in the blonde's voice, Sora rubbed his wrist and looked at Cloud with tear-glazed, resentful eyes. "I hate you."

"No, you don't," was all Cloud said he guided Sora out of the coffee shop.

And Sora knew Cloud was right as he helplessly let his brother lead him to his convertible. He hated the way he felt right now—weak and exposed. He hated himself for giving in, and then again for being naïve enough to think that maybe all Cloud really wanted was for them to have a close relationship. He hated having to keep this secret. But he didn't hate his brother.

-o-o-

Sora groaned, flopping over on his bed, burying his head in the cool side of his pillow as his mother's voice floated up the stairs, soon followed by a knock at his door. He wanted to just tell her to leave him alone—what could she possibly say that would help?—but he knew that to deny her entrance would only make it worse when she ultimately did get in.

"Sora, sweetie, get up," Yuka said gently, poking her head into Sora's room. "You're moping again."

Sora sighed—his mother just didn't understand, she had no idea what he was dealing with. _You'd mope too if you knew the only way to keep your brother happy meant doing something you'd be practically shunned for. _

"Mom. It's almost time for bed anyway," Sora explained, tugging on the hem of his pajama top to demonstrate his point.

Not caring for his excuses, Yuka briskly raised her wrist, checking her watch and saying, "Since when have you gone to bed at eight o'clock, Sora? Please go help your brother. He's in his room getting ready for _your_ camping trip. He's already found the tent, and I haven't seen you do a single thing."

_If only you knew… _

A few minutes later and Sora had gained the courage to step into his brother's room, raising his knuckles to knock tentatively on the blonde's door. Just past the solid block of wood he could make out the sounds of clothes rustling and the clink of some equipment. Cloud really was getting everything ready… Still, though. After their argument in the coffee shop the other day, he wasn't quite keen on talking to him again.

"Who is it?" Cloud called after another knock from Sora.

"It's me," the brunette replied, twisting his hands into the hem of his pajama shirt, feeling awkward. God. Now that his mother had retreated back downstairs, the two of them were alone up here. Anything could happen, although he hated himself for thinking that way. He wanted to go back to a time where he was glad to help his brother out.

"Sora?" Footsteps padding across a carpeted floor, and then the door swung up to reveal a semi-wet Cloud. It was obvious that the older boy had climbed out of the shower recently, for his hair hung in damp clumps around his face, and a few droplets of water still clung to his nicely developed chest. A pair of pajama pants rested low on his hips, showing an inviting line of his pelvic bone, something that Sora traced with his eyes as his mouth went dry and he thought back to that shower they had shared together. It wasn't as easy to ignore now, mostly because Cloud was like a stunning reenactment of the event.

He didn't know for how long he stood there, his eyes greedily taking in his brother's pert, rosy nipples, the line of his collarbone, his strong biceps, the dip of his belly button in his built abdomen, the way a trail of gold disappeared into his pants, leaving him desperately wanting to see more. But what was he thinking? He _had _seen it, when it was erect and pressed against Sora's thigh, so hot to the touch and practically throbbing with his brother's need…

Sora licked his lips, totally oblivious to the fact that he was still standing in the middle of the hallway or where his thoughts had led him.

Then he felt the weighted pressure of Cloud's hand on his arm, warm touch playing between his elbow and his shoulder, wordlessly drawing Sora into the room. Cloud turned around as he walked, offering the broad spread of his back and pajama-cling curves of his bottom half to Sora's view. The brunette could already feel control of the situation seeping from within his power to Cloud as he began to wonder how those muscles would feel under his fingertips—how they would quiver, forming small tremors for his touch.

_Holy shit…What am I thinking?_

"You're trying to torture me," Sora muttered under his breath.

"What's that?"

"N-Nothing," the younger boy stammered, now stopping in tracks, regaining his senses enough to hang back, rather than walk right into the terrifying privacy of his brother's room. "I… I just came to help you pack."

Cloud smiled, dazzling and soft, but somehow Sora felt belittled. As if Cloud knew what was on his mind and was almost laughing at the notion of Sora being able to get any work done around him.

"Well, there's not much left to do," Cloud said, voice nearly a whisper as he leaned across Sora to shut the door, body seeming to envelope his younger brother's slight frame instantly.

Sora gasped and his eyes flickered on the verge of closing as the tingling scent of clementine soap washed over him, leaving him spinning on some dangerous edge. Cloud was so close that soft, freshly showered skin was everywhere, touchable centimeters away. Sora sucked in a shaky breath, a vain attempt at calming himself that only alerted Cloud to the state of his anxious want, giving his older brother reason to press his palm against the door and cage Sora there.

"Tell me, Sora," Cloud murmured, nose brushing teasing over Sora's temple, lips threateningly near. "How many other people get this sort of reaction out of you?"

_No one but you_, he thought, his mind almost entirely going blank as he felt Cloud's hip press into his own, along with something else centered at his abdomen. It was just as erect as it had been in the shower the one time, and Sora bit the inside of his lip to keep quiet a groan that wanted to break free and disappear into Cloud's inviting mouth, which was now hovering above his own.

He turned his head to the side, however, trying to shake himself out of it. He had been protesting mere moments ago—he wouldn't really let everything get so out of control, would he? No! He still had morals to uphold!

That's when Cloud's knee slid between his thighs, up to his own painful arousal, pressing delicately against the sensitive bulge so that Sora hissed his breath out from between gritted teeth. His hands automatically flew up to Cloud's shoulders again, gripping firmly as his knees threatened to give out. His mind was plagued by the nice hand job he had gotten, leaving half of him hopeful that he'd be getting one again and the other half of him dismayed that things were really going crazy now.

"That's what I thought," his brother murmured, the full curve of his lips brushing Sora's cheekbone. "But for all your protests about how we're not meant to be together… you sure seem ready for me…"

Sora swallowed as his throat constricted, and he clenched his eyes shut, this time unable to stop a low moan from escaping him as Cloud's knee gave another grind, harder than before.

Why was it so hard to resist—to control the pounding of his blood? He _knew_ it was wrong. He would hate himself after; this act would follow him around in the form of constant guilt, but despite the feelings of dread, Sora had begun to rub against his brother's leg, desperate for that heated friction. He needed to release some of the pressure that had built in his groin, and just looking at Cloud's enticing, firm body may have started it, but that was never going to be enough to finish it.

Cloud was right—no one else made him feel this damn good. Sora knew it as he clung to his brother's well-muscled shoulders and bucked his hips in blatant need, loving the unfamiliar, but still instinctual rhythm that was building. No one else could give him this.

"I—" Sora choked on his words, jerking and trembling, legs really going weak now. He wanted to get to the bed—he didn't care that it was his brother's anymore.

Cloud lowered his knee from between Sora's thighs, careful to hold the slender brunette up by the waist. "What do you need, Sora?"

_Need. _There was a lot that Sora needed in that moment, with the feeling flaming through his body. He was all _needneedneed, _but not able to articulate any of it.

"Cloud…" his brother's name came softly and hesitantly from his lips, but he told himself that it was okay—it wasn't said in the middle of Cloud's ministrations. He just _needed _to get to that bed and his brother's name was the only word that found its way through the lust-fog of his mind.

"Me, hmm…?" the blonde hummed, something delighted in his tone as he began to mercifully direct Sora towards his bed. Heat flashed through the smaller brother, quickening his breath, his eyes staring hard at the small space where the hiking equipment hadn't quite managed to cover. It was big enough for two bodies, however…

"Yeah," Sora replied hoarsely, then let out a surprised gasp as Cloud spun him around to face him and backed him into the bed. The back of his knees hit it, and then he was being pinned to the mattress as Cloud straddled his hips, his hands coming down firmly to hold Sora's shoulders in place.

Sora dazedly stared up into blue eyes, watching how they seemed to have darkened with lust, and it didn't help that he could feel his brother's erection straining against his own. Upon further inspection, he saw that their arousals were tenting the thin cotton of their pajama pants, leaving little to the imagination, and something about the sight of it stirred liquid fire in Sora's lower abdomen, his mouth suddenly going dry.

"We'll have to be quiet," Cloud was breathing to his ear, his palm rubbing patterns over Sora's heart. "And we can't go all the way yet… but if you have to scream, bite your hand…" He directed Sora's hand to his mouth, where the brunette obligingly put his mouth over the side of it, squeezing his eyes shut, his heart giving a pleasant flutter. If they weren't going all the way, then what was going to happen next? Oh, he hoped it took care of this burning need… he didn't know how much longer he would be able to hold out before he snapped…

That's when he felt it: the slow, long drag of his brother's large cock pressing into his own in a purposeful grind.

Something inside Sora jolted sharply at the firm contact and he groaned out, "Oh, God," before realizing he couldn't make such noises. Whimpering, he clamped his hand down, trying to fight the urge to yell by biting his finger, but as Cloud shifted, arousal rocking hard against Sora's, the younger boy cried out helplessly.

"Shh," Cloud instructed, the command coming out a tight grunt, effort taken up by the measured thrusts he hadn't stopped.

"I'm sorry," Sora muttered, knowing it couldn't happen again. He let his mouth hang open though, needing to breathe and silently gasp through it as Cloud quickened the pace, ready to bring them both over that white-hot edge.

The cotton of their sleepwear was thin, painfully so to Sora as he felt his brother's hardness collide roughly with his own. There might as well have been no fabric barriers between them. It felt like bare cock on cock and with the lust etched on both faces, anyone would have thought Cloud was deep inside his brother, not riding him through his pants. And Sora was responding as if he was being outright fucked, arching and writhing, trying to meet the pace of Cloud's motions.

"Come on, Sora," Cloud encouraged, pulling at his younger brother's slim hips, jerking them tight against his, erections grinding and twitching dangerously. So close…

And Sora wanted it, _loved _it, was going to have it, except—

"Sora! Are you up there? Riku's on the phone."

His father's voice wrung a sharp gasp of surprise from his throat, but that was basically it before he had to stifle another cry as his brother kept going, rolling his hips in such a way that Sora's eyes nearly crossed. He felt like he was about to explode any second now. Oh, God, oh, God…

"Tell him you'll call him later, that you're busy," Cloud breathed to his ear, stopping his ministrations for a moment. Before Sora could ask what he was doing, he felt warm fingers touching his hips, and then the hem of his pants was being lifted, baring Sora's twitching, aching arousal to the air. He heard the blonde mutter, "So cute," his fingers tracing briefly over the red head.

_I can't even think, nonetheless talk! _Sora screamed inwardly at him, his hips bucking up into the tunnel of his brother's soft fingers.

"Nuh-uh, already gave you one of those," Cloud hummed teasingly, his voice brimming with barely controlled lust, and his lashes were lowered over his stormy eyes. "Wouldn't it feel nice, though, for our skin to be touching?"

"Oh, God, yes," Sora moaned, the phone call from Riku already fading to the depths of his mind as he reached up for his brother. His mind was clouded with lust, too, leaving no room for arguments over what was right, what was wrong.

He watched as Cloud pushed down his own pants to his knees, revealing his much larger erection to Sora, who couldn't help but lick his lips at the sight of it. For a moment, just that moment, he could forget that Cloud was his brother, and all he knew was that Cloud was another man, an older man, and God was he huge. It was probably going to hurt later…

But then their eyes met again, blue colliding with nearly twin blue, and the moment was gone. Cloud _was _another man, but he was still his _brother_.

"SORA! ARE YOU UP THERE?!"

_Oh, shit… What am I doing?_

"Get off," Sora ordered, looking away so as to avoid witnessing the hurt he knew his words would bring to those pretty eyes, the ones that were so much like his own it almost scared him.

"What?" Cloud hissed, only moving to lean over Sora again, keeping his brother pinned beneath him. "Stop playing these stupid games, and finish this like we both know you want to."

"Cloud, not now," Sora pleaded, voice frighteningly high to his own ears as Kenjii hollered for him again.

"SORA!"

Still not looking at his older brother, the brunette called out in a strained voice, "Just leave it, Dad! I'll take it in my room."

At that, Cloud shook Sora's shoulders, almost violently, leaning low and whispering with a hint of a threat, "Forget about it, Sora. Riku doesn't care about you like I do."

"Stop it! You don't care about me. You took advantage of me," Sora cried. "You knew I didn't want this, but you forced it on me anyway."

"I forced nothing on you," the blonde spat, but his distaste for the situation and Sora's perceived misplaced affection now seemed enough to tame his libido. With a frustrated curse, he tossed Sora against the mattress and got off, yanking his pajama bottoms back up in the process. "Just get out. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"C-Cloud," Sora gasped, winded from how hard Cloud had pushed him. His older brother had always been the stronger one.

He clambered out of bed, pulling his own pants up, his erection softening as pain clenched at his heart. Why couldn't Cloud understand his feelings? "C'mon, don't be like this…"

"Be like what, Sora? Have you ever given a moment's thought to what _I'm _going through right now, or are you still only thinking about yourself?" Though there was rage in his blue eyes, the blonde made sure to keep his voice to a low hiss, and he opened his bedroom door, gesturing that Sora leave. "Goodnight, Sora."

Sora didn't make any effort to take that phone call yet, however, and he stood awkwardly in the center of his brother's room, twisting his hands through his shirt again. "It's not like that between Riku and me. I don't feel for him that way."

"Oh, really? Well, you sure seem eager to run off and talk to him."

"Cloud, knock it off and stop acting like you're three!" Sora growled, stomping up to him and grasping onto his forearm, heedless of the way his brother's eyes narrowed at that, flashing dangerously. "Our parents are right downstairs, what we were doing was a stupid idea!"_ This whole thing is stupid! _

"Like it would have mattered if they were there or not," the blonde gritted out.

"It wouldn't have, you're right," Sora agreed, releasing Cloud. "I don't have to explain myself to you. If you don't get why I'm so upset, why I'd rather be in my own room right now, then maybe you should cross-examine your _brain_, Cloud."

Cloud's glare didn't falter, only grew sharper as he rasped, "There's nothing wrong with me, Sora. At least, nothing that's not wrong with you, too. You wanted it. You got hard just looking at me. What am I supposed to do when you react like that?"

"I—" Sora sputtered, vainly trying to repute the accusations, but fuck—it was all true. He wasn't being fair. He'd wanted it at least as badly as Cloud, if not more, being so new to the sensations that he couldn't get anywhere else. "Oh, God."

Sora clamped a hand over his mouth and spun out the door, a sick ache in his stomach swelling up to constrict his throat as he stumbled across the hall, into his own room. The change of atmosphere did nothing to calm his shattered nerves though; it only tightened the guilt in his chest painfully as he realized that his walls were the exact same blue as Cloud's. They'd been that way since they were kids, when Sora had always wanted whatever Cloud did.

Suddenly desperate for air, on the verge of vomiting again, Sora leaned over his desk and sucked in a few ragged breaths. When the gagging sensation faded, he opened his eyes and saw his phone lying off the hook against the wooden surface. His father must have come up and left it like that so Riku wouldn't be accidentally hung up on. Sora might have been glad, but all he could do was pray that Kenjii hadn't heard a word of his argument with Cloud on the way by.

Was Riku still on the phone? Sora didn't hear the frantic beep of an idle line, but he still pressed the receiver down without saying a word. He couldn't talk to Riku now, not when he could practically still feel the slick slide, rough jerk, slow burn of Cloud's thick arousal along his own.

God, he was getting hard again just thinking about it. Why did things have to be so fucked up like this? If he couldn't get his act together, then he definitely wasn't going to be able to survive this camping trip.

Releasing a ragged breath, he pressed the heels of his palms over his closed eyes and swallowed against the growing lump in his throat.

He just wanted things to be _right _again.


	3. Falling into the Forbidden

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Square Enix's _Kingdom Hearts_, nor are we making any money off this fanfiction.

-o-o-

_**Author's Notes…**_

**Vash's Girl: **Whoot, sorry this took a while. Life kind of took over for me, and it was difficult to get around to working on this project. I'm glad everyone waited so patiently, though, and I hope most of you are still willing to follow the storyline even though it's been a while.

**The Glass Slipper: **Yeah, it's funny because we started this chapter immediately after finishing the second, but its completion just kept getting delayed, no matter how many times we complained about how much we missed this story. We're really glad to be working on it again, and we really do hope it's still worth reading. The next update will likely be faster!

-o-o-

_**Nobody Needs to Know**_

**Chapter Three**

Falling into the Forbidden

-o-o-

He had never felt so good in his entire life as he did right at that moment.

Sora let out a low moan, twisting his hands through his own hair and arching his hips up to that inviting mouth, enjoying the wet heat wrapped around him, suckling hard and fast. He didn't care who heard him—he wanted everyone to know that his body was on fire and that his heart was ready to burst free from his chest and fly away to the heavens. He had always heard stories about how great a blow job was, but he had never listened. He should have; it was even better than being jacked off.

He dug his heels into the back of the owner of that delicious mouth, giving an encouraging hum of delight, lowering his hands to the sheets so that he could twist his fingers through them. In response, the mouth tightened, gliding along his arousal with a slow bob, a wet smack filling the air as it retreated to place a kiss to the head. A thrill shot through his stomach, adding fuel to the heat in his veins. God, he didn't want this to stop.

It was almost too good to believe—how did the person know exactly which ways to touch Sora, just how to give him what he'd been craving, when the brunette hadn't even known he'd wanted it?

Sora didn't care for questions, though, just ached for more. He mewled, crying out in pleasure as he was taken deep again, further into that liquid heat than ever before. It just felt sososo good. He loved the warm, encasing mouth, the slippery, swirling tongue—loved the owner, whoever was giving him all that intense delight.

"Nnh," Sora whimpered, forcing himself to open his eyes. He wanted to know…

He wriggled his hips, trying to prop himself on his elbows, something that made the man purr in the depths of his throat, sending small tremors along Sora's length. Overwhelmed by pleasure on top of pleasure, distracted completely by the appearance of white starbursts over his eyes, Sora slumped back down and just pushed himself into that mouth.

"Cloud…"

The name rushed from his lips without a thought. It had to be his brother. No one else made him feel _that _good.

Right?

Euphoria slammed into him, taking his breath and his sanity away, and for a few precious moments he was riding out his pleasure, wave after wave crashing through him, bringing a scream from his lips as he arched back, spilling into that wondrous mouth.

It wasn't until a minute later that he found himself slumped over in his bed, his sheets and his chest soiled by pearly liquid that definitely hadn't been there when he had fallen asleep.

Nausea twisted through his stomach, and Sora buried his face in his pillow, trying to hold back bitter tears.

So his brother was invading his dreams now, too?

-o-o-

"What the hell took you so long to answer the phone yesterday?" Riku was saying crassly on the other end of the line as Sora spooned some Cheerios into his mouth. "And then you hung up on me. What was going on? I didn't call back because I assumed something was wrong."

Sora took a moment to swallow before he answered, "No, nothing was wrong. I got to the phone, but no one was there, so I hung up." He knew he was lying, but it was better than Riku finding out the real reason why he hadn't bothered to talk to him last night.

"Okay…" Riku replied skeptically, seemingly wanting to argue, or at least to tell his friend that he'd been cut off, but reluctantly letting it pass. "Well, what's going on today? When should I pick you guys up?"

"Um…" Sora trailed off, looking across the kitchen, past a half-wall of cupboards to where Cloud was sitting on the couch in living room, eating his breakfast of fruit and yogurt alone.

Something hard caught in Sora's throat as he stared at the back of Cloud's head—all that shimmering flaxen hair—and the long nape of his brother's neck. Cloud hadn't said a single thing to him all morning, not even when Sora had tried to help him carry down their hiking gear.

Sora was trying to reason with himself, thinking that this was what he wanted. Wasn't it? He'd asked Cloud to give him some space, but he couldn't help how it hurt to be ignored like he presently was.

All Sora could think in that moment was that Cloud must have been right. He was selfish—he'd made this entire thing about his own concerns without considering that Cloud had feelings and needs, too. No wonder the blonde didn't want to talk to him.

"Sora?" Riku's voice came over the phone, and the brunette swallowed against that lump in his throat.

"I think we're ready, Ri," he said as brightly as possible, rubbing a clammy left palm anxiously over his jean-clad thigh even as he spoke. He hated to lie, but… "I just checked with Cloud and everything's packed, so come over whenever you want."

"Okay. I'll be there in probably half an hour, then we'll pick up the others, too."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

When the phone line went dead, Sora pressed the end button with shaky fingers and then pushed his bowl of cereal away. Sighing, he got to his feet and slowly ventured into the living room, only stopping when he was standing directly behind his brother. For a long moment he didn't say anything, just looked at all the individual strands of gold and near white in Cloud's spiky hair. It was so nice to admire. Was he wrong for thinking so? Was it an evil thought?

"Cloud," he said, his voice hoarser than he had intended for it to be. Silence stretched past, filled only by the crunch of an apple as Cloud took a bite out of it. "Cloud, c'mon…"

"What, Sora?" his brother replied, his first words since the morning had begun. He didn't turn around, holding his apple in one hand as he used his other to spoon some yogurt up.

Sora bit his bottom lip, then came around the couch to sit by his brother, tentatively reaching out a hand and touching the older boy's forearm. "I—I'm sorry about last night. You were right. I'm not being fair."

He wasn't sure what he had expected—maybe a ruffle to his hair as Cloud told him that it was okay, or even a nod of acknowledgment that he had spoken—but all that he got was… nothing. Cloud merely continued to watch the CNN Headline News, where clips of a burning forest were being displayed. Sora issued another sigh, settling back into the couch cushions, forcing himself to watch, as well, but he couldn't help but find it boring. He preferred to see toons first thing in the morning.

His brother finished his yogurt shortly afterwards, setting the empty container on the coffee table and curling his legs up to his chest as he continued to eat his apple. Sora couldn't help but feel a little angry at that—what did Cloud want from him? He wasn't going to give in, and the blonde should have been grateful he had even gotten an apology out of Sora.

"Cloud, I said I was sorry," Sora stated with a slightly bitter tinge to his voice, beginning to pick at a loose thread near the hem of his hoodie in aggravation.

"Don't fidget like that, Sora," Cloud ordered, standing up to leave, apple core and yogurt container in hand.

"I—sorry," the brunette stammered, more than a little taken aback by the harsh reprimand. He really did rely on Cloud's impression of him, because—when their eyes locked, when Cloud's fingers threaded into his hair, even when they shared moments like the one in the shower—Cloud could make him perfect, worthy, wanted in ways that no one else did. Sora wanted to be back on that pedestal, and, in a strange sort of daze, he found himself reaching out to touch Cloud's arm again, careful strokes imploring his brother to sit back down.

But Cloud gritted his teeth and pulled away, hissing, "Look, if you want to get through this camping trip without another of the incidents that seem to disgust you so much, stop playing around like this. I don't know what to do with you anymore, Sora."

Sora winced at the tone in his brother's voice, sinking back down onto the sofa, powerless to do anything other than let Cloud walk away with a final glare. He so badly wanted to fix things, but it seemed that all he ever did was make them worse.

-o-o-

Another problem presented itself when they got to Tidus's house.

There wasn't enough room in the car.

While they all scrambled inside of the vehicle and tried to find room, Cloud sat in the backseat by the window, resting his forehead against the glass and idly fastening his seatbelt. He seemed oblivious to the rest of the bickering going on in the car, and he didn't look up until Kairi shoved Sora on top of his lap, much to the younger brother's chagrin.

"What are you doing?!" Sora hissed.

"You two are brothers—share a seat," Kairi insisted, settling into the middle. "What harm is it going to do? It frees up space. If a cop comes by, just hunker down. The windows are tinted, anyway."

_That's not what I'm upset about, _Sora thought, but he wisely kept that bit to himself. No need to inform the others of what was going on in his life.

Seeing as how he didn't have much of a choice, Sora shifted, aware of the blue eyes boring into the base of his skull but ignoring them for the moment. He gripped at the back of Riku's seat to support himself, his legs dangling over his brother's, the blonde's muscular thighs strangely cushioning. It was kind of embarrassing to be sitting like this, but what other choice did he have? The others weren't going to let him have a seat of his own.

"Let's get this party started!" Tidus crowed from the front passenger's seat, where Kairi should have been sitting—she was still griping about it.

"Calm down, I can't drive with that kind of noise," Riku snapped, also irritated with the seating arrangements and surrounding events. But since they were in a hurry to get to the campground before it got too warm outside, he couldn't make Tidus move.

Not long after and they were pulling onto the highway, Kairi singing along with some popular song on the radio, Wakka hunkered down in his seat for a nap. Tidus was drumming his hands on the dashboard, trying to get rid of some of his energy. Riku was totally focused on the road.

And Sora was still sitting awkwardly in his brother's lap, the blonde having yet to say anything since his curt departure from the living room earlier.

Not only was his current position making Sora intensely anxious, but it was also beginning to get a little uncomfortable. Although he knew that the seating arrangement would be a lot more agreeable if he'd just settle into his brother's lap, rather than apprehensively trying to maintain his distance. His legs were beginning to burn. Somewhere along the way he had started to practically squat over Cloud's thighs to avoid placing too much pressure near such a sensitive area. He refused to make anymore contact than was absolutely necessary, for his own sake, as well as Cloud's.

It was getting to be too much, though.

"Guys," Sora choked, needing to clear his throat before he continued. "Maybe we could stop at the next gas station and give Cloud a break."

Selphie, who was seated next to Kairi, just rolled her eyes. "Pfft, Sora you weigh, what? A hundred and twenty pounds? I'm sure Cloud's fine."

But Riku frowned and threw a glance in the rearview mirror, "Maybe we _should_ stop, Selphie."

That was when Cloud finally spoke, surprising Sora with a calm voice as he said, "Don't worry about it. She's right. Sora's a complete lightweight. Let's just get there."

Then Sora found himself pulled fully onto his brother's lap, his bottom nestling against the curve formed by the junction of Cloud's abdomen, hips, and then thighs. God. Even in that moment, amidst the crowded vehicle, Sora had to think that he fit perfectly there. For a split second he didn't deny it—just took simple pleasure init.

Why did they have to be born as brothers?

Sora decided to take a leaf out of the blonde's book and laid his forehead against the cool surface of the window, letting his eyes slip closed. It was warm in Cloud's lap, when he was sitting properly. He didn't want to move for a while. And God, did he feel guilty for feeling that way, but what could he do until they got there?

He shifted a little, trying to get a bit more comfortable, but it was hard with his head pressed against the glass, so he finally pulled away from the window. Another shift, and his back was resting against Cloud's chest, one of his legs slipping between the blonde's, a position that shouldn't have been so intimate to Sora. Cloud wasn't moving again, content against the headrest of his seat, his eyes closed and his breathing even. Sora wished he could be that peaceful right now—his heart was starting to beat a mile a minute as he caught sight of the full mouth that had tried to kiss him the night before, that had invaded his dreams this morning.

Was it really as soft as it looked?

_C'mon, Sora, get it together, _he thought, turning back around, his butt momentarily digging into Cloud's thighs as he adjusted himself.

Despite the noise of his companions, it seemed quiet in Sora's mind. He stifled the urge to sigh, rubbing his hands over his face, and then nearly gave a start when he felt _it_. That noticeable bulge pressing into his backside, hard and familiar, and somehow Sora could feel the heat of it even through the layers of their clothes.

Within an instant, Sora's cheeks had turned bright red, and he trembled with the urge to scramble away, so very aware that his brother's erection was for him. _Shit… _How could he have been dense enough to not realize how all the squirming and shifting he had been doing moments ago was affecting his brother? He had been basically grinding his ass against Cloud's crotch for the last five minutes—of course the blonde had a hard-on.

And all this was happening between brothers, in the middle of a car full of people!

_Oh God, oh God, oh God…_

It was so wrong. And shouldn't Cloud have been embarrassed by that sort of thing? Sora's whole face was flushing with shame, but Cloud's blank visage barely hinted at anything troubling. He wasn't even trying to hide his problem either. If anything, Sora felt the hips under him wriggle suggestively, that terrifyingly hard arousal rubbing against the small of his back as he bit his bottom lip, desperately suppressing the desire to lunge away.

_Fuck, tell me he's not trying to get off like this._

Somehow, with his mind still screaming out mute warnings as he silently cursed the situation, Sora maintained his senses enough to know that he couldn't react like he wanted to. He had to pretend that nothing was wrong. He had to just smile, sing along to the radio with Kairi, and make sure that he covered his brother's erection with his body, hiding it from the view of his friends.

He felt fingers crawling on his thigh, on the side where it was pressed against the door and no one else could see. They slipped deftly into his pocket, stroking near his crotch but not too close, because something like that would have been a bit more obvious. Instead the fingers lingered against his warming skin, felt easily through the thin layer of pocket fabric, and Sora bit the inside of his cheek to keep from giving a small shudder. He could already feel his nipples perking beneath his hoodie, and so he did his best to close his eyes and try to think of something else, _anything _else.

Wasn't Cloud mad at him?

Cloud's thumb strayed back up enough to slip beneath his hoodie and rove over the dip of his pelvic bone. Sora's hand automatically reached down to grab his wrist to stop him, but something about the light caresses made his senses hone in on them, and he turned his face back to the window, licking his lips, his lashes fluttering. God, this was embarrassing.

But as easily as the fingers had come, they left, and Cloud settled for just lightly resting his hand on the curve of Sora's hip, above his clothes. The retreat was a bit surprising and threw Sora off a little, mostly because Cloud hadn't seemed the type to give up until just now. So was that just a blatant tease? Probably. And he had fallen right into the palm of Cloud's hand. Damn it.

He could practically feel Cloud's smirk emanating off of him, but he refused to turn around and find out if it was just his imagination or not. A blatant tease on top of possibly payback for the night before. Or maybe Cloud was just testing his resolve, testing to see how far he could push it before Sora snapped, even if that included being in a car full of his close friends. But he couldn't possibly know—if there was one thing he had always been sure of, it was that Cloud was unpredictable.

-o-o-

"Sora, watch out for that tree branch!"

Sora ducked at the last possible second, wincing when he saw how close he had come to gashing his forehead open. Was that thing low hanging or what? Although, maybe if he hadn't been so zoned out, he might have seen it coming. It was at eye level, after all. Sheesh

His thoughts were still back in the car ride, even though the better part of an afternoon had passed since then. He couldn't help it. Even though it had been so damn wrong, the feel of those fingers tickling up his thigh had been _hot_. And, being the growing hormonal boy he was, he kept replaying it in his head over and over again… God, what the hell had gotten into him? Cloud was right. He needed to stop playing games. One moment he said he hated it, the next he craved it. It was like his body and his heart really were at war with each other.

Riku's hand rustled over his hair, and then vanished as the older boy stooped to gather up a promising tree limb. "You should pay more attention to your surroundings. I mean, you _are _a klutz, but this _is _a bit ridiculous, don't you think?"

"Oh, shut up, Riku," he muttered, tossing aside a stick when he discovered it was rotting through. _Like you could possibly understand the amount of stress I'm under. _

…_Ha. I sound like such an adult. _

"Okay, Mr. Crabby Pants," Riku said with raised brows. "What's crawled up your ass, anyhow?"

"I have to share a tent with Cloud," Sora retorted, then, in a fit of irritation, threw all the sticks he was holding to the ground. He could hear Kairi's girly laughter reverberating through the trees, and on its heels, Cloud's softer chuckle. It was sort of like a warm caress on a cool day, promising to melt your heart straight through. Sora had always imagined that his brother's laugh would one day conquer the hearts of many women (or men).

He had never predicted that he, himself, would be caught up in its tricky strings so surely.

_Beneath that slightly cool, slightly amused exterior lies a snake, waiting to gobble you up and then spit out your bones when he's through with you. _

_Hey, yeah, that's right. This is all a fucking game to him. See how riled up he can get me—and he's even messing with my emotions. Letting me think he's mad at me, and then doing something like he did in the car. Completely throwing me off track! God, this is so __**infuriating**__. I really should just—I don't know. What? I can't disown him. I mean, I could, but not now. I'm still in high school. We live under the same roof. _

…_Yeah. That idiot needs to move out. Get a life. Make some friends. Maybe then he wouldn't be so infatuated with his own damn brother. _

_Maybe then I won't wind up as screwed up as he is. _

"Sora? Sora, did you hear me?"

Blinking, Sora looked in Riku's direction. His friend was standing right beside him, waving a hand in front of his eyes. When Sora scowled and knocked it away to show he was indeed paying attention now, Riku frowned, putting his hands on his hips.

"I asked why it's such a big deal that you have to share a tent with Cloud? You always have before."

Sora cast his gaze elsewhere, biting his tongue as his first response bubbled up to the surface. (_"Because he's going to molest me when everyone, including me, is least expecting it."_) He shook his head. "I don't know—maybe we're getting too old for it? I already had to sit in his lap in the car. I guess… I don't want Cloud to be _uncomfortable _with being stuck with me all the time," Sora lied, but he had to admit, it sounded pretty plausible. Straightening after he gathered up the fallen sticks, he shrugged, finally glancing back to Riku. "It might ruin the trip for him. Hell, this already might be the last time he wants to hang out with a bunch of high schoolers. We shouldn't ruin the experience so early on, you know?"

"Wow, Sora," Riku said, sounding mightily impressed. "That was pretty mature of you to say." Sora wondered if he should have felt offended or not. "But—even though you're doing such a good job thinking of your brother's feelings… how about you think about mine?" When Sora raised an eyebrow in confusion, Riku gestured. "Kairi. Me. Alone." Something that didn't quite make it into a laugh spread over Riku's lips, alternately growing bigger and then fading. "You know—that sort of thing."

"Oh." Sora was surprised his cheeks were heating.

"Yeah." Riku pushed his bangs out of his eyes with his free hand. "So what do you say? This may be the only chance I get with my girl, you know?"

"In a tent? In the middle of the night?" Sora didn't know why he was pushing it. It wasn't even because of Cloud now, but his skepticism was still rising quickly to the surface. "That can't be comfortable. And it'll be cold…" He trailed off, hoping Riku would see his point.

"So I'll warm her up," Riku replied suavely, a knowing twinkle in his eye as he gave a light punch to Sora's shoulder. "I'll owe you one, okay?"

"…And she knows about this?" God, why was he playing the big brother role suddenly? Sure, he had always cared about Kairi's well-being, but normally he trusted Riku to look after her. Except this time it seemed that he was on the opposite side of the coin.

"Of course, we already talked about it. Why do you think we're so excited this time?" Now the laugh managed to break free, and Riku started heading back towards camp, his arms full of firewood.

_Well, I guess that settles _that _then, _Sora thought sourly.

He trudged along behind Riku, sullen as they made their way toward the voices. Another round of cheering and laughter erupted, pouring through the woods to greet their ears, and Sora's expression tightened as he realized that it was still Cloud's chuckle that stood out to him. Maybe just because it was familiar… _No, _Sora thought with a sigh, it was more than that.

Halfway back now, he frowned and stumbled a bit, having grown too distracted to lift his feet beyond a shuffle. When Riku looked over his shoulder to make sure he was okay, a small part of him wanted to continue sulking, but he couldn't bring himself to. Instead he smiled reassuringly, flashing his teeth despite his unease as he hurried forward and overtook Riku. They had might as well join the others; he couldn't even remember why he had wanted some time alone with Riku in the first place.

Had he, somewhere in the back of his mind, actually thought that he would confess what had happened between him and Cloud in the car, and even before that?

It didn't matter. He hadn't, he wouldn't, and Riku clearly had other things on his mind for the weekend. Sora couldn't very well expect his friend—even his best friend from childhood—to worry about him without having the slightest notion of what was wrong. Riku had already shown him more than enough concern, and each time, Sora had insisted there was nothing wrong. Now it was up to him to keep his own hormones in check, simple as that. He wasn't going to ruin the weekend for his friends.

"Come on," he called, waving Riku forward. "Everyone's probably hungry. I think it's been two hours since Tidus last ate."

Riku laughed, but Sora took little satisfaction in the front he was putting up. At least no one suspected anything was off when they returned. Still trying not to show his disappointment with the sleeping situation, Sora helped pile the firewood, even chancing a quick look in Cloud's direction, only to find his brother as impassive as ever. _What the hell?_ he thought bitterly, experiencing the distinct feeling that Cloud was getting off easy—unfazed and not at all bothered—while he stressed over everything. It made him even less eager to get into that tent with Cloud.

But then, a heartbeat before he could look away, Cloud's eyes caught his, and they were pretty, clear, and _blue_. There was something so understanding behind them, that when Cloud gestured for Sora to sit beside him, he did so like the younger sibling he was: one who'd always been close to his brother and didn't want that to change.

The words that came out of Cloud's mouth, however, weren't what Sora was expecting. He had been ready to hear a sympathetic statement, but instead he was faced with a low whisper of, "I realize that you're probably stressed out by this… but Sora—you keep sending me these looks, and it's like… despite what you tell me, your heart is saying differently. That despite the—difficulty of our situation, you want it, too."

Sora's gaze dropped to his shoes. His heart rose up to his throat, and he swallowed against it, not sure what to say at that point. He wondered if he should lie—but would Cloud see right through it? "…Cloud, we shouldn't even be having this discussion," he said at last, figuring it was a safe sentence that revealed nothing and yet everything.

"I think we should be," Cloud retorted in a casual murmur as he stood, grabbing his sleeping bag from beside their log.

Sora stood, too, so he wouldn't have to raise his voice for Cloud to hear him. He grabbed his own bag, tossing it into the tent when Cloud opened the flap. "Well, definitely not now."

"Tonight, then. When everyone's gone to sleep." Cloud's blue eyes sought out his, as clear as they had been moments before, and then his voice became very intent, very sure. "I mean it, Sora. No more running away." His words were a heated murmur, and his fingers played along Sora's just as he turned his body so no one would see the movement. The caress was so sensual that Sora shivered despite himself, biting into his lower lip. "I heard you calling my name out in your sleep last night."

Sora's face immediately turned a bright red. What could he say to _that_ without blatantly lying about it?

That soft chuckle that he knew so well reached his ears. "You're right. We should eat."

During the time that it took everyone to eat the hotdogs and chili beans over their respective camping plates, Sora felt certain that he was the only one who was so _awkward_. He and Cloud had reclaimed the log, and whenever their thighs brushed together, be it on accident or not, a shudder would jolt through him, and he'd nearly drop his food. Fortunately, everyone was too engrossed in separate conversations around the campfire to really notice.

Cloud ate his meal in silence. He had always been the quiet sort, and everyone expected it of him now. He'd answer a question if one was aimed at him, but other than that, he didn't go out of his way to make small talk. Usually Sora found a sort of comfort in that—now, though, he felt he might die if he couldn't find out what was going on in Cloud's mind.

He didn't really want to talk about it. He didn't even know what he was feeling himself. It was like this sickening sort of anticipation would build up inside of him, and then when something was actually _happening _between them, he'd be in absolute bliss, but… the moment it was _over_, things went straight to hell, and he wanted to scrub his body clean. Like he was tainted—like he was dirty. Like he didn't even deserve to have been put on this earth.

This wasn't what that sort of thing was supposed to feel like, was it?

Wasn't love—or sexual situations—wasn't… wasn't all of that supposed to be _beautiful_?

Sora just found it so ugly.

It was Cloud who jolted him out of this brooding to point out that the others were cleaning up—well, at least Kairi and Riku were—and getting ready to spend the evening around the campfire. Someone had pulled out a guitar, and several people had disappeared into their tents to grab warmer clothing, leaving the central area oddly quiet for the time being. Sora stood with the intention of helping his friends gather up the paper plates they had used. He stilled, though, at the feeling of a subtle touch on his wrist, his stomach sinking with a dread that had become all too commonplace lately.

It really was so ugly to him in that moment, especially as the corner of his eye caught Riku leaning in to kiss Kairi sweetly. He wanted _that, _not whatever this filth with Cloud was.

"Let's go," came from Cloud, who was standing straight and acting almost businesslike about the whole thing. And the worst part was that even then Sora found himself wanting to be treated like he was special, not a transaction.

"Cloud…" he muttered, hating how near to a whine the name sounded. Why couldn't he be firm with his brother? Even when he tried, he never managed to be forceful enough to get anything through Cloud's thick skull.

"Let's go, Sora," Cloud said again.

This time his voice was brotherly for Riku's sake, as the boy had turned towards them and was looking on questioningly. Sora tried to smile as he shrugged at Riku, but in his mind, he wondered if this was what it felt like to be imprisoned, led away from his normal life by Cloud, his captor. He swallowed and quickly told himself not to be so dramatic. Nothing was going to happen. He was going to tell Cloud that, yes, he was confused, maybe even tempted, but they absolutely could not act on it.

When he climbed into the tent, Sora looked at the proximity of their soon-to-be sleeping arrangements and, no matter how hard he tired, he couldn't fight an ebbing of contentment. For a second, the thought of sleeping next to another man was wonderfully appealing. Like finally getting something he'd been waiting far too long for. Then he realized that man was his brother, and he bit his lip hard to keep from growling disgustedly at himself.

"You said we'd wait for everyone to fall sleep," Sora mumbled, though he didn't really know why he was trying to protest. Cloud had him for now.

"Well, I don't think _some_ of those people are going to be getting much sleep."

Sora narrowed his eyes, knowing exactly which couple that remark was intended for and not appreciating Cloud's casual, almost belittling attitude towards Riku's relationship with Kairi at all.

"Besides," the blonde continued before Sora had the chance to retort, "I figured since you want to keep this private so badly, we should discuss it while everyone else is busy making too much noise."

"Of course I want to keep this private," Sora hissed, amazed by how quickly he could be angered these days. His emotions ran in extremes around Cloud, it seemed. "Do you honestly not realize how abnormal this is?"

"Sora… We've been through this. I _know_, okay? It's followed me around since high school, since we both started to mature." Something about that statement—the utter wrongness of it, probably—made Sora cringe, but Cloud continued heedlessly. "I'm tired, Sora. I see you going through what I did, and I already know the outcome. I know I shouldn't pressure you… But I don't want to wait any longer, and there's no reason for you to, either."

"Cloud, you can't… You can't expect me to make a decision like that. How can I say yes to having a relationship with _my_ _brother?_"

Something Sora couldn't define—amusement? desire? acceptance?—flickered across Cloud's features, and before he knew it, a hand had closed around the nape of his neck. Cloud's palm was warm, his fingers aimless as they played with the short brown hairs there, then grazed forward. In that very slight movement, Sora realized what kind of look he had seen on his brother's face a moment ago—an opportunistic one. Cloud knew how to get to him.

Fingertips ran along his ear. The touch was so light that Sora barely felt it, but he shuddered as Cloud leaned closer. In a million years, he wouldn't have thought that the shell of his ear would be so sensitive, but then Cloud's tongue darted out to meet it, and it was all Sora could do to keep from getting hard on the spot.

_Holy…_

"You don't have to _say_ it," Cloud murmured, the words factual and promising at all once.

_That is true, _Sora found himself thinking, his lashes fluttering shut as Cloud's teeth closed around his ear. A fierce shudder gripped him, and his hand flailed out, grabbing a hold of Cloud's hip. A hum of encouragement vibrated against his ear, tickling the skin behind it, and he nearly bit his tongue in half to keep back a moan of his own.

"W-Wait…" he managed to garble, pulling his head away, fighting against annoyance when his brother sighed. "Just… I'm having trouble coping with this… did you really—did you really go through what I'm going through now?"

"Yes, I told you," Cloud replied, reaching up to push Sora's spiky bangs off his forehead. His eyes grew softer then, as sympathetic as they had been earlier, before he had gestured for Sora to join him on the log. "And I'll say it again—I know what's going to happen. Eventually you'll wind up like me—tired of being miserable, tired of denying all of this. You want it, too…" He leaned his forehead against Sora's, his eyes slipping closed, his voice dropping to a murmur. "It'll just be between me and you, I promise…"

He'd promised the same thing before, while they had been sipping their coffees at that shop. Even before that, when Sora had been attempting to sleep, and Cloud had come to join him at his bedside. But this time… Sora didn't know what it was. It was like a little knot of anxiety eased inside of his chest, and before he could stop himself, he was reaching up, grabbing a hold of his brother's shoulder, pulling him closer.

That mouth drew nearer to his own, and Sora took its full appearance in, noting that it looked as soft as ever, full and inviting. Those lips parted as if sensing Sora's attention, and Sora's heart did an odd flip-flop in response, setting his nerves on fire. He glanced up then, caught Cloud's eyes staring full-fledged into his own. It was like all the restraints Cloud had kept up before were now being let free, revealing every intense emotion that he could have possibly summoned into that gaze.

Sora had never thought he would be on the receiving end of such a look. Looks like that were the wanting looks, the hopelessly devoted looks, the I'm-going-eat-you-up-with-my-lust looks, and yet also, they were the strangely vulnerable God-just-want-me-too looks. And how was Sora supposed to resist such an expression? Now he was stunned, his breath caught somewhere in his ribcage. His heart pounded fast, fluttering against his chest, jumping when Cloud's tongue darted out to briefly wet his lips.

And then it happened—

Cloud's arms snaked around his waist, pulling Sora against him. Sora's hands entangled in downy soft strands of hair, then lowered, cupping around his brother's neck. He rose on his tiptoes, Cloud bent his head forward, and their mouths collided almost roughly against each other, sending every thought of protest fleeing from Sora's mind.

The tightening in his stomach was almost unbearable, but in the very best way, and it drew a suppressed moan from Sora's throat. For the first time in his life, he knew what it was like to be properly kissed, to have another body press eagerly against his, and the sensations were dizzying. Cloud's mouth was every bit as appealing as it had always looked, and Sora's mind spun each time it shifted slowly against his.

Tongues followed; tentatively from Sora at first, but Cloud was patient and coaxing, and before long, Sora found the lapping, entangling motions plainly sensual. He gripped Cloud closer at the feeling of another jolt in the lowest point of his abdomen. His knees felt wobbly and ready to give out, but the kiss only deepened as he clung on.

God, he was really letting his hormones take over, wasn't he? But it was about time. Cloud was right. They both needed this; they'd both been waiting, watching other people fall in love, for too long. Why couldn't they have it, too?

Sora felt the fabric along his back inch away from the hem of his jeans as one of Cloud's hands dug into the area of shirt between his shoulder blades. Soon after, deft fingers sought out the newly revealed skin, playing gently along Sora's spine. As he melted into the touch, Sora wondered if he'd ever figure out how his brother knew exactly when to tease and just what sort of pressure to apply. Then Cloud's entire hand splayed over the small of his back, and he pushed that thought aside to enjoy the fading moments of their embrace.

Their kiss slowed, lingered, and then broke off, saliva trailing between them to Sora's slight embarrassment. His cheeks heated. "Cloud," he muttered the name, his voice rough and tremulous.

His brother didn't answer, but Sora felt a nose nuzzle into his spikes, and then wet lips pressed against his temple. Cloud's hold was almost too tight; the blonde's arms nearly shook with the force of it, and Sora felt overwhelmed. But he liked Cloud like this—almost… grateful. He didn't entirely want to admit it, because it seemed to validate all of the hard-to-get games Cloud had been playing earlier, but Sora was glad to have this appreciative side of his brother back. All of Cloud's attention and warmth and fervency—he wanted it.

"We…" Sora swallowed to clear the constricted feeling from his throat, but when he managed to speak, his voice was still thick with emotion. "We have to do this at my pace, okay? You can't… spring anything on me."

Cloud loosened his grip such that Sora was able to look into his slightly greener (and much prettier, Sora thought unavoidably) eyes as he spoke. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but eventually, Sora…" The already low voice trailed off. Nerves fluttered around in Sora's stomach as Cloud paused to brush his bangs aside again before continuing: "You know what I want. We can't avoid—"

And then "Wind storm!" was the enthusiastic warning that cut instantly into Cloud's forming monologue.

At the sound of Tidus's voice and the crackle of a tarp, both brothers jumped apart, Sora more hurriedly and with wide eyes. He wiped furiously at his lips as they held some remaining evidence of the kiss, while outside, Riku and Tidus rustled the sides of their tent playfully, the former calling over the noise for them to join everyone around the campfire.

Sora could see Cloud thinking about how much time they had before the boys burst in, and trying to guess exactly what could be heard over the flapping of their tent. He seemed to decide they were safe. Sora froze as Cloud, all reassurance and no alarm to speak of, reached out and fixed his recently tousled spikes carefully. The soft smile on those just-kissed lips was telling Sora to send his friends away so that they could enjoy the rest of their moment together.

_Oh, God, _Sora mentally whimpered. There was nothing but a sheet of plastic between them and the others, and Cloud was doing this now?

Of course he was.

And as those slender fingers circled around his hips again, tugging him forward, Sora found his resolve melting away. He shivered as Cloud's mouth sought out his own, this time not bothering with the light stuff for long. A warm tongue caressed boldly against his, and Sora hummed, stroking back in a welcoming greeting. Why did he lose control when Cloud touched him? When Cloud wanted him?

The sounds of their kissing were wet and hungry, and if anyone had bothered coming straight up against the side of the tent, they probably _still _wouldn't have heard it over the racket outside. It calmed Sora a little, and his fingers stretched out, curling against the front of Cloud's jeans, brushing against the bare skin beneath his sweater. Despite the slight chill pervading through the camp's atmosphere, Cloud was like a furnace, and before long Sora's hands were greedily leeching from it, tracing up a firm abdomen. The muscles trembled beneath his touch, and he was reminded of that day in the bedroom when he had imagined doing this.

Now it was finally coming true.

"God, Sora, your touch is driving me crazy," Cloud breathed against his mouth, grasping Sora's hip bones, but it wasn't painful. If anything, it urged Sora to continue wandering, his fingers tickling over Cloud's ribcage. "If you don't stop…" He let it hang, his breath quickening, and Sora could make out the pounding of his heart beneath his palm.

If he didn't stop, Cloud would—what? Deep down, he knew what…

Did Sora want to push this? Did he want to test Cloud's warning, see if his brother would follow through with it? A darker, eager part of him was whispering, _"Yes." _But the Sora that knew that they had company still awake outside, that knew that they could be walked in on any moment, wasn't so certain.

His hands slipped away. "Maybe we should wait to do this—it's really risky right now, Cloud," he said, his tone placating, and when Cloud gave him an uncertain look—like he didn't trust that Sora wasn't going to revert back to his shell, "I want to." He leaned up on his tiptoes again, placing a kiss to that perfect mouth, as soft and tender as he could make it. "But I'm worried about being walked in on."

Cloud's fingers found his hair, stroking the base of his skull. "You're right," he sighed at last.

Sora looked down, a frown twisting at his lips. "I wish that if we were walked in on, it could just be something everybody laughed off, you know? But instead… all these secrets…"

"Hey…" Cloud's fingers cupped his chin and tilted his head up in a way that reminded Sora of when they were much younger and he had pouted over less important things. "It doesn't matter," Cloud promised. "When they're not around, we'll have lots of time to be ourselves, okay?"

His eyes still locked with his brother's, Sora paused to allow the words time to filter through his mind. Could they honestly keep their relationship a secret? And more importantly, could they ever be a normal couple? Sora tried to imagine being with Cloud on a date, in a restaurant or at the movies, holding hands, sharing glances the way he always thought he would with his future boyfriends. But he knew that Cloud and he would have to be so much more careful with their displays of affection.

The world suddenly seemed to close in, as if isolating his brother and him for the choice they'd made. It was going to be Cloud, him, and no one else, if what they were doing ever turned into anything long-term, for who other than they could accept it? Sora felt suffocated. He had to get out of this tent before Riku and Tidus started to wonder what was keeping him.

Sora looked at Cloud a second longer, nearly spoke, but ultimately wrung his hands and stepped around the blonde for the tent flap. He didn't know what message he was trying to send—probably because he still hadn't sorted out his emotions. One moment, Cloud was the most attractive person in the world to him, and the next, practically the most abhorrent. It wasn't fair, Sora knew, but all he could think to do was to return to the normality of the campfire with his friends, who were now calling for him to hurry up.

Yet it was Cloud's hoodie he grabbed before leaving the tent and stepping out into the crisp night air. The same sweater he'd been wearing when their Monopoly game had turned into a wrestling match and he'd caught that unspeakable something smoldering in Cloud's eyes for the first time. Thinking of that moment, he pulled the sweater on, knowing that his brother's gaze would turn possessive at the gesture. Some part of him liked it—liked the way the hoodie hung loosely and told of Cloud's more developed frame—and he acknowledged it, slipping through the flap of their tent with a deep breath.

"What were you two doing in there?" Riku asked out of the corner of his mouth as Sora fell into step beside him. Tidus was moving ahead, and Sora could hear Cloud emerging from the tent behind them, giving the two boys a small degree of privacy as they walked towards the center of their group campsite.

"Heh—nothing. I couldn't find my toothpaste," Sora lied, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. "You know what a terrible packer I am."

"Yeah… You sure you're okay? You look a little hot," Riku noted, eyeing the flush on Sora's features.

Sora looked away, feeling guilty that Riku was looking for signs of fever or illness, when all he was really going to find was a blush and kiss-swollen lips. As much as Sora appreciated the concern from his best friend, he couldn't stand the thought of Riku ever finding out what he had just done. He had to stop the questioning before it revealed something nobody ever needed to know.

"Riku…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm fine, okay? Really. Stop worrying about me."

Despite his best efforts to keep a steady voice, Sora very much doubted that he sounded fine. Riku seemed to be of the same opinion because he examined Sora for a moment longer and then glanced at Cloud. That shift in focus made Sora hold his breath and left him with nothing to do but look on, reading every angle of Riku's face carefully for signs of suspicion. But he saw none. Of course there were none. Riku wasn't going to assume something like incest. He wasn't looking for anything more than a clue that maybe Cloud had noticed Sora's recent nervousness, too.

"You'll tell me if there's anything…" Riku trailed off, obviously left with nothing solid to go on as Cloud breezed by, as collected and worry-free as ever.

Sora nodded, reiterating for the last time that there was nothing to tell, no reason for Riku to worry. He was sure his friend wouldn't pressure him with questions any longer. When Riku knew Sora wasn't in the mood for talking, he always respected that, trusting that they'd discuss whatever the issue was when Sora was ready.

Once, there had been a small part of Sora that had thought maybe Riku would somehow end what was happening between him and Cloud before it could get out of hand. Because Riku was too involved in his life for something so huge to slip by unnoticed, and not even Cloud wanted anyone else to know what they were doing. But it _was_ out of hand, and Sora had just asked for space to let it continue. He'd made it easier for Cloud, for their relationship, and he even wasn't sure if he regretted it or not.


End file.
